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Evelina just shook her head, unable to find the words. But Diana was patient. She kept her eyes trained on Evelina, gentle, coaxing.
Finally Evelina said, “It seems you were right about the unnecessary risks. My plans have fallen through rather spectacularly.”
Diana didn’t say anything at first, though Evelina could feel her stiffening in her seat across the room. “What happened?” she asked at last.
Evelina almost—almost—told Diana everything, then and there. But how could she explain Thomas’ suspicions of Father without escalating the situation beyond her control? She settled with the more palatable, though no less painful, version. “We exchanged some harsh words. He…said some things that I should find very difficult to forgive.”
Diana nodded. “And you should not have to.”
Her sister’s passionate, nearly-blind support brought a small smile to Evelina’s lips. “You do not even know what he said.”
“If it is enough for you to shed tears over, I do not wish to know, for it was undoubtedly ghastly.” Diana drew herself up. “Forget him. He is a fool, if he would speak to someone as kind and intelligent as you with such gall. At the very least, it is not as though you are out an engagement.”
Evelina had begun to cheer up, but the reminder of Jerome squashed any positive feelings away. Diana must have noticed, for she wilted slightly as well. “I’m…sorry. I know you are not particularly fond of Jerome. I supposed I keep thinking that so long as they actively show you love, the identity of the person you are with matters little.”
Such a sentiment was shocking in its naivety, even for some as overly-optimistic as Diana. “You can’t truly believe that. What if you were betrothed to someone you hated?”
“Do you hate Jerome?”
“I…no…” Evelina shook her head, confounded by her own feelings. At last, she said, “I suppose I am a bit more of a sappy idealist than I have led myself to believe. I have privately scorned the affections of my previous suitors, waiting for just the right man, because I cannot imagine moving forward in my life any other way. Yet…” An image of Thomas, handsome and kind-eyed, flashed through her mind. “Perhaps the ‘right man’ does not exist. Perhaps it truly is time I accept that someone like Jerome, who does not set my heart aflutter but is not necessarily abadperson, is the best option. There are worse matches as far as practicality is concerned, after all.”
Diana looked pained. “I hate to see you like this, Evelina.”
Evelina shrugged. She hatedfeelinglike this. But at the moment, there was nothing to be done for it, a dire reality of which both sisters were aware.
“It’s late,” Evelina said after a long moment of silence, forcing herself to rise before she could slip any further into the mire of self-pity. “We should both try and sleep.”
An owl hooted outside the window, which was followed by a flurry of barks from the guard dog. Diana glanced at the window, as if also taking note of the late hour. She got to her feet. “Very well. Just know, Evelina, that I am here for you. Let me know if there are better ways for me to help you through the engagement.”
“Thank you, Diana,” she said, hoping she had concealed her little slump of disappointment. It seemed her sister still believed marrying Jerome was the right choice, despite everything. “I hope you have better fortune getting to sleep this time around.”
They parted ways in the hall. Yet later, even after Evelina was safely back in her room…dark considerations plagued her.
They had not seen one another in approximately a week. Neither had sent any letters, and their departure from one another’s side had been so painfully abrupt and bitter. Had Evelina made the right decision, telling him they weren’t right for one another? Surely, she must have, for him to outright acknowledge that in addition to suspecting her father of murder, he did not trust her either?
Yet now that she had spent some time going over her family’s current financial predicament, as well as the conversation she’d overheard between her parents about why Father was so set on Evelina’s marriage to Jerome…
Had Evelina been too hasty to so blindly defend her father?
Was it possible whatever transaction had taken place between Father and the late Duke of Elvingtonwaskept off the books?
Variations of these fears circled, vulture-like, long into the night, as Evelina tossed and turned, unable to get to sleep. She felt as though a storm was raging inside her. The thought of marrying Jerome sickened her; his arrogance, his impatience, his self-obsession. Yet she did not want her uppity attitude to bring her family to ruin. Yet, even with that in mind, should it truly have been made her responsibility to fix the financial predicament her father had gotten them into?
Her eyes were dry and bloodshot when the first of the morning light bled through the drapes. She sighed and stared at the ceiling until Matilda arrived to fetch her and help her dress.
“You…look as lovely as ever, this morning,” Matilda covered smoothly when Evelina sat up, undoubtedly revealing what would prove to be heavy purple circles beneath her eyes.
“Do not start with that,” said Evelina wearily. “There are enough false and half-truths going around at the moment. If you and I cannot be honest with one another, then what hope do I have left with anyone?”
Matilda did not say anything to that, but a faint, prideful flush colored her cheeks, and she gestured for Evelina to join her at the vanity, so that she might go about addressing the rat’s nest that had become of her hair.
“I know you likely are not in the mood to hear this,” Matilda said sometime later, as she helped Evelina into her dress. “But the Duchess has asked me to share with you that today is the day you are meant to return for your next engagement ball dress fitting.”
