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“Then…why?”
A pained look came over her face once more. “It was during the time he was away in the Far East. He had been gone for over a year. I was by myself, alone—it was the year my own parents passed away, if you’ll recall—though I suspect you will not, as you were just a small child yourself.”
Thomas nodded in silent acknowledgement. He did not remember his maternal grandparents. In fact, his very earliest memory was of being ushered into the nursery following Gerard’s birth, and meeting his new baby brother for the first time.
“I was lonely,” Mother went on. “I am ashamed to have broken the vow I made, even to this day…but in truth, I cannot say that I regret what happened. The man I was with brought me solace in a time when I had none. He also brought me my son.” She lifted her eyes, and with absolutely conviction, said, “Surely, there are worse things a person can do.”
Thomas, who had spent days now being confused and deeply upset by this knowledge of his mother’s past, found a deep-seated relief in the reality that he agreed.
During his own time in the Far East, he had known loneliness. Great loneliness, being in a land where the customs were unfamiliar, and all of his loved ones were half a world away.
He found that he could not blame his mother for her actions and felt shame that his first instinct upon finding out the truth had been to judge her for her actions in circumstances he’d known little about.
“I love you, Mother, no matter what happened in the past,” Thomas said with as much conviction as he could muster. “Please always know that.”
As the words left his mouth, he had the sudden desire to tell her everything: his suspicions of the Duke of Alderleaf, Father’s murder, the difficult time he and Gerard were having piecing the mystery together. The true basis for his hurt over Lady Evelina.
What he wouldn’t give right now to have the reassurances and comfort of a parent. With Father gone, Thomas realized he had been going to great lengths to force himself to handle everything on his own.
Perhaps he didn’t need to.
“And I you,” said his mother, a fond look in her eyes. Or perhaps that was just her own relief at Thomas’ declaration that he did not mean to turn his back on her now that he knew the truth.
Soon after, Mother made some excuse about needing to retreat to dress for supper, though that was still hours away. Thomas suspected she merely needed some time to process her emotions in private, as he did as well.
“Wait,” Thomas said, just before she walked out the door.
Mother paused. “Yes?”
“How did you come across this information regarding Lady Evelina’s engagement?”
Mother studied him, and a sad look came over her. “You…weren’t aware, were you?”
Thomas shook his head no.
Mother’s lips pressed together in sympathy, a far cry from the accusatory demeanor she’d approached him with upon first entering the study. “I was at tea with Lady Horwich. She told me of the engagement ball, and how it is the current talk of theton. It was rather embarrassing, mind you, to learn that our family had somehow not been selected to receive an invitation.” Mother looked a little abashed. “I suppose I took that embarrassment out on you just now, with little grounds to do so.”
Thomas didn’t care about that one bit. Mouth dry, he asked, “When is this engagement ball intended to take place?”
Mother tilted her head as she answered, regret evident in the line of her sad smile. “I’m sorry, Thomas.”
“Please, I do not need pity. I only ask for information.When is it?”
Mother sighed, looking as though she wished with everything she had that she could give him a different answer. “Tonight.”
