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“That is unfortunate,” she said, trying to not sound as disappointed as she was feeling. Perhaps she would have to reconcile herself to the fact that they were lost and she would have to begin collecting them all over again.
In mid-afternoon, Daphne met Jenny to wait for the dowager so they could depart together. In her invitation, she had stressed the importance of Daphne joining them for their planned day out in town which left Jenny guessing the dowager’s plans. She suspected it was about the match they were making.
The dowager arrived in her carriage and when Jenny asked why she was not riding, she said she did not fancy riding that day. “Should we get some sweet ice before we go to the park?” Jenny asked.
“I don’t see why not. It is a particularly warm day and some ice would be nice.”
The trip to the tea shop was short and on their way to the park, the dowager inclined her head, looking Jenny over questioningly. “I must say that I am quite surprised by the portion of sweet ice you had. You are not very fond of sweet things, Jennifer.”
It was one of the few times she deigned to call Jenny by her Christian name. She knew the direction the question was heading in and she decided to stop it immediately. “I do, on occasion.”
“And what occasion would that be?” she pressed.
Her cravings had brought her some disappointment, for it heralded her courses. If things had been different between her and Nicholas, she would have anticipated the absence of her courses. Now, it only reminded her of how bleak her marriage would be without children, and that reminder would come every month. “Living with Nicholas is changing me,” she said.
“As well it should.”
Disappointed she might be, but giving up wasnotan option. If she had even the slightest power to change things, she would use that power. She could not allow the course of her life to be determined by anyone but herself. As Daphne had said, men had a language and all she needed to do was learn it and take advantage of it.
I will get my husband,she silently vowed.However long it takes.
They met Ernest at the park and the dowager’s plan immediately became apparent. "Hello Ernest," the dowager greeted with cheer. "Are you here alone?"
Ernest's features creased in perplexity. "I thought you said to meet you at—" His grandmother dropped her cane with a loud clatter.
“Oh, do help an old lady with her cane, will you?” she said with a small twist of her lips. Ernest dismounted and picked up the cane for her. Then she looped her arm through his and began to walk with him, ignoring his protests.
The history of Hyde Park was not what Jenny expected to receive on this trip as the dowager compared the present state of the park to its former glory, making Jenny think that time and nature had done them a great favor with the changes. Daphne, however, seemed genuinely interested and she received the dowager’s lessons with much alacrity, questions, and opinions of her own.
"So, are we expected to feel grateful for something we neither asked for nor care about?" Ernest was clearly as bored by his grandmother's choice of subject of conversation as Jenny was.
"My point here, Ernest," the dowager said, "is that we never appreciate what is right before our eyes until it is too late. I for one see the park in a different light now that I have lived more than half of my life. But of course, the park is just a mere example, insignificant in comparison to the good fortunes some people are adamant to run away from." Her gaze traveled meaningfully from him to Daphne who had now grown suddenly pensive.
"These fortunes you speak of are subjective," Ernest argued. He must have gathered the hidden meaning in her words and gaze.
The dowager pursed her lips for a moment and as she was about to speak, her body convulsed and she began to cough violently, gasping for breath.
