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“Ride?” she asked, frowning further. “Why would you ask that?”
“I was just wondering if you ever had the opportunity.”
“I have ridden a few times and had a few lessons,” she explained, picking her teacup up again, “but I am not a skilled horsewoman.”
“Perhaps we could go out riding?” he offered.
Edwina gestured to the sky. “It looks lovely at the moment, but by the time I change into my riding habit, I think the rain might keep us from a pleasant ride.” Fergus looked up at the sky and scowled because Edwina was right. Dark clouds hung on the horizon again.
“I will need a new book soon,” she mentioned, picking up the one on her knee, showing him that she only had a few pages left to go. “Perhaps you could accompany me to the library this afternoon while we wait out the rain.”
“That sounds relaxing,” he told her. She offered him another biscuit and took her own, eating in silence for a while.
“How is your day passing?” she asked him politely after a few moments.
“Well enough,” he said briefly. She raised her eyebrows for him to continue. “Just pouring over accounts and ledgers. I need to respond to a few tenants’ letters. Just the monotony of business.”
“I would like to take you up on that ride, sometime,” Edwina mused. “It is a shame that the weather has been so volatile lately.”
“Indeed. Well, perhaps we can at least visit the stables on the way back in and make sure I have a suitable horse for you to ride. I have a sweet, older mare, but I am not sure if she is still able to be ridden.”
Instantly, Fergus realized his mistake. The mare was his mother’s, and no one had ridden the horse since his mother had passed. If the mare could still be ridden, he could not be sure he could bear to watch Edwina ride his mother’s horse. If he retracted his offer, Edwina might question why which could pressure him into talking about that tragedy. He just was not ready.
“I would like that,” Edwina said, oblivious to his discomfort. She set her teacup down again and looked up to the sky. “I think it’s time we head indoors. What do you say?”
He stood and offered her his arm which she took with a smile. He led her toward the stables without talking. The groom scrambled to his feet again, seeing them.
“Your Grace, you do not mean to ride in this weather, do you?” he asked, surprised.
“No, just wanted to take a look at the white mare,” Fergus explained. “How is she handling, lately?”
The groom looked between Edwina and Fergus uncertainly. “She is on in years, Your Grace. Does Her Grace mean to ride?”
“I would like to take her out sometime. Should we look at getting a new horse for her?”
“Oh, you do not have to do that,” Edwina protested softly.
The groom looked around the stables. “I think so, Your Grace,” he looked to Edwina, “Do you ride well?”
“Only technically,” Edwina explained, her face tight.
“I can look into finding a mild-tempered horse for her if you would like, Your Grace.”
“Please see into it,” Fergus nodded, turning to Edwina. “Think nothing of it. This would be more for my benefit than yours, I am sure.”
She nodded agreeably and turned, distracted by the rain starting to fall.
“If you would please, Your Grace, let us get back inside,” she said. She turned to the groom. “Thank you for your help.”
The groom bowed to Edwina. “Of course.”
Acquiescing, Fergus led Edwina back toward the manor, running through the rain the last hundred feet to the back door. Standing in the hall by the backdoor while they caught their breath, Fergus struggled, taken by surprise by her beauty. Tendrils of her hair lay damp against her forehead, beads of rain standing out on the high spots on her cheeks.
“We made it just in time, I would say,” she laughed, looking back out the window breathlessly as the heavens opened up. She pressed a hand to her chest. He felt like he could not breathe around her; she was so breathtakingly beautiful. When she caught him staring, her smile faded.
“What is it?” she asked.
He wanted to bend to kiss her. He stepped closer to her, thinking he might, and she looked up to him expectantly. If he kissed her there, he thought she might let him. She did not act repulsed by him, afraid of him, or disgusted. However, he could not help but feel as though he did not deserve her beauty or kindness, so he stepped back.
