AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“He is no murderer,” she told the jailer fiercely, taking Fergus’ hands. She turned to face Fergus, squeezing his knuckles tightly. “Fergus, I was so worried about you. I thought those men would hang you as soon as they laid hands on you.”
He brought her hands to his lips, kissing the backs of his knuckles softly as he breathed in the fresh scent on her gloves. “I am a bit battered but mostly well.”
Worry lines deepened her brow, and dark circles shadowed her eyes. In a grim tone, she explained, “I have tried to see everyone I could think of with influence, to convince them that you are not the Monster of London. No one will believe me, or if they do, they refuse to help.”
“I will go to trial, then,” Fergus said, trying to sound unaffected. He gently stroked her cheek, and she closed her eyes. He looked up to the jailer. “Can I have a few moments alone with my wife?”
“Your Grace,” the jailer said to Edwina, “I am not sure that I should leave you alone with him for your own safety.”
She turned to him with a scowl. “I am in no more danger here than in a church unless I shall catch a vile disease from the stench. Please, allow us a few moments.”
The jailer nodded skeptically and turned back through the door, calling over his shoulder, “Just scream if you need me.”
As soon as he was gone, Edwina turned back to Fergus, asking, “What more can I do, Fergus? Surely, there is someone I can meet with, someone I can write to or talk to on your behalf.”
“I need some time to think,” he told her, shaking his head. “Right now, it is just good to see you.”
He pressed his forehead against hers for a moment through the iron bars of his prison cell. Having her there felt so wrong. She was too beautiful, too pure, too clean to be standing there amongst the filth. He felt grateful she was there but guilty that she was at the same time. Part of him wanted to encourage her to leave, but the selfish part of him wanted her to stay.
“Fergus, I do not mean to vex you, but I need to know where you have been,” Edwina told him softly. “I do not mean to pry whether you have been out in the saloons or brothels, but if I could just know that you were somewhere else on the nights those women were attacked, perhaps I could argue your innocence with theton.”
He pulled away from her, turning his back to her as he paced his cell. She clung to the iron bars, staring at him intently.
“You would not understand,” he breathed at last, feeling tested. If he wanted to truly make amends with Edwina, right the wrongs that he had done to her, then he had to speak the truth to her. He might feel exposed and nervous, letting her see the vulnerable parts of him, but it was a risk he knew he needed to take.
“We are past understanding,” Edwina countered desperately. “This is your life, Fergus.”
He sighed at last, but still facing away from her, he said, “I have been going to an inn, twenty miles or so west of Hillow House. I have not even been in the city in the past month or so.”
“This is great news!” Edwina cried, surprising Fergus. He thought she would be upset by the revelation, so when he turned to see her joyous face, he frowned.
“Great news?” he asked.
“If you were at an inn, surely the innkeeper remembers seeing you. He can prove your innocence,” she explained, reaching through the bars for his hand. He hesitated before taking it, and she drew him closer to her. “This is wonderful.”
“You are not upset?” he asked.
She pressed her lips tightly. “We must focus on the important thing at the moment which is getting you out of prison and away from the noose. We can address other things later.”
Her kindness and patience overwhelmed him, and he let out a deep breath. “I know have not been kind to you,” he breathed, kissing the back of her fingers again. “Alone in here, I am faced with my own demons from which I cannot escape.”
She held her breath as though she was afraid that he would stop speaking. Her brilliant hazel eyes looked up into his expectantly, waiting for him to continue. Encouraged, he took a deep breath.
“You have been forcing me to face those fears, these feelings that I have kept inside,” he said. “Sometimes, I have not been able to tell you what I am thinking, what I am feeling. I get physically unable to. My heart races, and my throat closes up. It is like I cannot breathe. It is the same feeling I got in a battle, sometimes, the same fear, the same petrification.”
“Oh, Fergus,” she breathed, squeezing his hand.
“I have wanted to tell you so many things,” he breathed, his voice getting tight. “Even now, I feel that same feeling, being unable to breathe. But I have nowhere to run to, now.”
“You are safe with me,” Edwina whispered to him, her eyes filling with tears. “I will not hurt you, Fergus. I will not betray you or mock you or leave you. But tell me, honestly, do you really believe our marriage was a mistake?”
“I want to believe I can trust you; perhaps, marrying so quickly may have been rash, but Edwina, I do not regret marrying you, not for one second.”
“It will just take time for us to get to know each other,” Edwina assured him, uncurling her fingers to stroke the stubble on his cheek. “You will see, in the months and years, when I do not give up on you, when I am there for you every sleepless night, and when I hold you in my arms.”
His heart pounded in his chest, wondering what he did to deserve her. He wanted to tell her how he felt, how much she meant to him. Instead, he continued his story. “At the inn, I have run into men like me, wounded by wars they have fought or through their work. They do not treat me cruelly. I have been able to speak to them like equals, hear their stories, and they hear mine. It became a sanctuary for me where I felt safe and welcomed.”
“Fergus,” she whispered, stroking his cheek again. She pulled away enough to look him in the eye. “You are safe with me, Fergus. I want you to know that you can talk to me. I will not judge you. I just want you to know that I welcome you, all parts of you. Darling, I love you.”
