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Eleven
When Jake opened his eyes, he was disoriented by the dark. This wasn’t his hotel room. And then he was fully awake.
Shifting carefully to the side of the bed, he stood and stumbled to the bathroom. When he returned, his eyes had adjusted fractionally to the black of night. Nikki must have installed room-darkening shades on her windows.
A glance at his watch told him it was only two. In the silence, he could hear the almost imperceptible sound of Nikki’s breathing. He climbed back under the covers and turned into her warmth. The curves and valleys of her body had him hard again.
But he was cold inside, and there was a block of ice where his heart should have been. Nikki had thought he was asleep when she said those four incredible words. I love you, Jake.
Had she really meant it? How could she? After everything that had happened...
As he tried to steady his panicked breathing, a memory popped into his head. He’d been twelve, maybe thirteen, camping with a friend and his family at Yellowstone. A park ranger gave a talk about the west’s low humidity and had warned that if the remnants of a campfire were not separated and scattered well enough, an ember, a slow burn, might remain for hours, days. And then spring back to life when the wind conditions were right.
Now here Jake was. Did he still love Nikki? Or did he even care enough to try? And with a kid in the mix, what was the fallout if he wanted to be the man Nikki deserved, but failed?
His erection mocked his indecision. Take her, the devil on his shoulder urged. Protect her, said his better self.
In the end, he knew the answer. Moving her gently in the bed, he shook her awake. “I need you, Nik. Again? Please?”
She nodded sleepily, murmuring her pleasure when he kissed her long and deep, teased her lips, thrust his tongue inside to stroke her tongue. The fire burned hot again.
Reaching for the nightstand on his side of the bed, he found the remaining condom and managed to rip it open. When he was ready, he faced her on his side. Carefully, he lifted her leg over his hip, pulled her close and joined their bodies.
It was perhaps the most intimate thing they had done. Their breath mingled. They met as equals. Neither in charge. Both of them taking pleasure and giving it in return.
Nikki curled her arm around his neck and kissed him. “I’m glad you stayed tonight,” she whispered.
Her kiss took him higher. He felt invincible. “Me, too, Nik,” he groaned. Fire swept down his spine, flashed in his pelvis. His fingers dug into the soft curve of her ass. He wanted to say something, to tell her how he felt, but the storm swept him under. He came so hard he might have lost his wits for a moment.
He rolled to his back at the end. Her cheek was smashed against his chest. Stroking her glorious hair, he tried to steady his breathing. His brain spun out of control, and he tasted fear. How could he hurt the woman who had been his whole world?
“Jake?” she said, petting his chest like he was a big jungle cat.
“Hmm?”
“I’m wide-awake now. Tell me about the wedding. I know you said it’s at two o’clock, but is it going to be a huge affair? Where are they getting married?”
He tried to focus. “You remember the Bismarck Hotel downtown?”
“Yes.”
“They’ve remodeled the top floor into a large entertainment space. Josh and Sophie had the choice of including only family and close friends or planning for a crowd of a thousand or more. You know how it is in Falling Brook. Once you start inviting people, it’s hard to draw the line. Plus, with all the Black Crescent mess in the news again this year, my brother and his fiancée thought it would be in poor taste to spread a bunch of money around. Last I heard, the guest list hits around fifty. Small and intimate.”
“What about a rehearsal dinner?”
“Nope. Not even that.”
“Good for them.”
The conversation was a pleasant diversion, but Jake had arrived at the moment of truth. Things were getting far too cozy. He released her and scooted up against the headboard, forcing himself not to touch her.
Nikki reached for the lamp and flipped the switch. He hated that. He didn’t want her to see what was coming.
If he had any guts at all, he wouldn’t let her have hope. He raked his hand through his hair, feeling the cold sweat on his forehead. “I don’t think I’m going to stay for my father’s trial, Nikki.”
She sat up, too, pulling the sheet to her chest, covering her breasts. Her hair was a tumbled, fiery cloud around her face. Her eyes were huge. “I don’t understand. Why not? You need closure, Jake. If you don’t face Vernon, you’ll never get over what he did. He’ll always be the bogeyman.”
Perhaps there was truth in what she said, but he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to admit it. “He’s nothing to me. I don’t care what happens to him. He destroyed us, Nikki. I can’t forgive him for that.”
