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Every bit of color leached from her face. He thought for a moment she might be sick. “That’s not true,” she said. The words were sharp.
He stared at her. “Of course it is.”
The heartbreak dawning in her eyes was familiar. He’d seen it fifteen years ago. He might have seen it five years ago in Atlantic City if he’d left when she was awake. She lifted her chin, visibly angry. “You destroyed us, Jake. Not your dad. He disappeared, but you could have come back anytime, and you didn’t.”
The attack came out of nowhere.
He gaped at her. Nikki was always on his side. Always. “I had to leave. He’d made my life impossible. Everywhere I went, reporters followed me. One of them shimmied up a ladder and tried to climb into my bedroom. It was hell, Nikki. And all of it, his fault.”
“I know it was hell. I was there, remember?”
“Well, at least your dad died. He paid for his sins. You didn’t have people thinking that you and your mother were hiding a fortune somewhere.”
“That’s a terrible thing to say.” Her pallor increased. “I loved my dad, even though I hated what he did. I also hate how your dad and mine tore lives and families apart. But time moved on, Jake. I’m not stuck in the past. I’ve had to build a new life from the ground up. I have a child who loves me and a mother who depends on me for emotional support. I’m not that frightened high-school girl anymore.”
“The implication being that I’m a coward?” His temper simmered.
She hesitated. “Not a coward. No. Not that. But you’re emotionally stunted. You’ve had every resource in the world at your fingertips, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to grow up and come back and do your part. We all needed you, Jake. Oliver. Your mother. Joshua. Me.”
Her words chipped away at him, exposing his weaknesses. It wasn’t that he’d been too lazy or immature to share the burden—he’d been afraid. Afraid that he would come home and make things worse. “I offered Josh my help more than once. But he assumed I was a screwup, so he wasn’t interested.”
“That was in the past. My God, Jake. He offered you the helm of the company recently. How much more does he have to do to prove he believes in you?”
“I’ve lived on the road too long to change my ways. People aren’t always who you want them to be, Nikki. You expect too much.”
Her eyes were wet. Her jaw wobbled. “Do I? Maybe so.” One tear broke loose and ran down her cheek. “I think you should go sleep on the sofa now.”
There it was. The death blow.
He had brought it on himself. Provoked this confrontation. The ice in his chest melted, leaving a gaping hole. It hurt. Dear God, it hurt. But he didn’t know how to fix it.
Nikki stared at him, anguish on her face. “What about Emma?”
“I’ll still see Emma. She has nothing to do with my father.”
Now Nikki’s smile was bitter. “I think you’re wrong, Jake. How you relate to your daughter has everything to do with this chip on your shoulder. You’ve carried it far too long. It’s crippled you.”
He took the hit stoically, but he fought back, lashing out. “What did you say your college degree was in? Surely, not psychology.” He heard the sarcasm and condescension in his words, but he couldn’t seem to stop this train wreck of a conversation. “I’m a grown-ass man, Nikki. I think I can handle my own life.”
She huddled against the headboard, her knuckles white where she gripped the sheet. “Maybe you can. But I have to ask, what about the wedding? I don’t want to be rude to Joshua and Sophie.”
“You’ll come to the wedding with me. My family is expecting it. I’ve told them about Emma, so they’ll want to see you.”
“Won’t that be fun,” she said bitterly. “I’ll find my own way there, Jake. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”
“Don’t be absurd. I’ll pick you up at noon.”
“And what happens to you and me after the wedding?”
He saw it then. Despite everything he had said and done, in Nikki’s despairing gaze he saw one last remnant of hope amid her pain. “I don’t think there is a ‘you and me,’” he said, the words brusque and flat. “Lots of people share custody of children. I know who I am. And who I’m not.” He slid out of bed and found his knit boxers. Grabbing up his shirt and pants, he started getting dressed.
Nikki wrapped the sheet around her body, toga-style, and went to her closet. “I’ll get you some sheets for the sofa,” she said.
Suddenly, he couldn’t stand to be near her for another second. It was tearing him apart. “No,” he said curtly. “I’m leaving.”
She whirled around, frowning. “Don’t be stupid, Jake. The snow is deep. And it’s still coming down. You’ll wreck your car.”
He shrugged, staring at the woman who had shown him a glimpse of what his life could be like. “Don’t worry, Nik. I always land on my feet.”
