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However, his daughter was giving him a most pointed look.
“What are you smiling about?” he asked, hoping most fervently it was about Lady Campbell’s dinner party and nothing at all to do with him.
“I was only thinking that perhaps some of those individuals whose company you do appreciate might also be at the Campbells’.”
Her tone was far too innocent. It was time Seth changed the subject. “Actually, I’ve been thinking it might be time I remove myself from London permanently.”
He’d been meaning to do so well before now. But then he’d promised Charlotte he’d return for her ball, so he had. But now, was there any real reason to stay? The longer he lived here, the more money it cost him—money he didn’t have to spend. Yes, moving himself to a single room had helped, but it wouldn’t be enough for long. He needed every farthing of his savings he still had to set himself up in the country. So long as he retrenched, he would get by. But only if he didn’t stay in London for much longer.
But he would miss his girls. And Charlotte. He’d most certainly miss seeing Charlotte.
“I think that is a horrid idea.” Dinah’s voice burst into his thoughts. Her smile was gone, and though she was grown and married, the only thing he saw whenever she turned petulant was the little girl she’d been.
“You know I never planned to stay after you three were married and settled.”
“But we will all miss you terribly,” she pressed.
“Then come visit me.” Despite having worked hard for months now to see them all married, Seth wasn’t terribly excited about living without his three girls. He’d worked to see them settled fortheirbenefit, not his own.
“That isn’t the same.”
Lord Stanton spoke up for the first time. “How is that not the same?”
The scowl Dinah gave her husband made Seth silently chuckle. Though they’d had a rocky start, he knew Dinah and Lord Stanton were madly in love now, despite often not seeing eye to eye on things.
“Itisn’tthe same,” Dinah repeated the same words, yet made them sound far more important.
“How so?” her husband challenged.
“Because that would be in the country, and this is London. That changes everything.” Dinah leaned forward slightly and seemed to be trying to convey something to her husband without the use of words.
The mysterious message, however, seemed to pass directly over Lord Stanton’s head. Poor man, he hadn’t been married long enough as of yet to understand the importance of listening to what one’s wifewasn’tsaying as well as what shewas. He still had a bit of learning to do. But with time, Dinah would set him straight.
Same as his wife, Leah, had set him straight so very many years ago. As Dinah and Lord Stanton continued to talk about the various benefits of visiting family in the country or in London, Seth let his mind drift back.
Dinah had still been a baby when her mother had passed. He’d been left with two young girls and a burning need to make enough that he’d never be denied medical help for lack of funds again. Some years later, Rachel—who was actually his niece—came to live with them. Almost overnight, he’d found himself loving her and worrying for her wellbeing as if she were his own daughter. He called her his daughter, and Eliza and Dinah called her their sister.
For almost two decades, it had just been the four of them. He was their provider, their guardian. He worked from sunup to sundown and often late into the night to see them clothed and fed. His single goal in life was to keep them safe and make sure they never knew the same desperate want he and Leah had known those first few years together.
But now, his three girls were married. All to good men who could comfortably provide for them. His three girls were settled. They would have homes far more beautiful than any he’d known.
He was proud to say he’d seen them well-off. He was grateful for Charlotte and her role in seeing them brought to London.
Yet where did it all leave him?
He was now unequivocally unnecessary.
His girls didn’t need him to provide food for them, or clothing, or a roof over their heads. They didn’t need him to see to their welfare or safety. Other men now filled that role in their lives.
He didn’t regret anything, yet he didn’t know what to do with himself now either.
As a knight, he couldn’t even return to work. He was expected to set himself up for a life of luxury. A life he didn’t want and one that was completely empty.
Seth stood abruptly. He couldn’t handle it anymore. Not tonight. He needed a good ride. Some late-evening air would clear his mind. A sound night’s sleep wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Dinah and Lord Stanton were both staring at him, and Seth belatedly realized they’d stopped their conversation because of him.
“Forgive me,” he said, trying to keep his tone unaffected. “I think I shall take my leave.”
