AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter 17
Even after meeting up with Aaron so many times, Matilda still had a fluttering heart right before doing so. She walked close to the house with Ann trailing behind her. She thought carefully about what she would say to Aaron, all while trying to remain calculated. Her mind was her best asset, and she needed it to be in great shape with the time ticking down.
The one problem with seeing Aaron was just how emotional she would get around him. He made her think with her heart and not her brain. His lips were enough to bring her into a trance of sorts. And that was bad for a mind that needed to think out the next move like a game of chess.
Matilda also worried that when she saw him, she would be tempted to just run away. The thought had obviously crossed her mind before, but it had never been more prominent. The coldness of her mother pushed her away. The only ones keeping her home was her father and Ann. She would never want to hurt either of them.
She spotted Aaron underneath a willow tree. She could not tell if Aaron looked extra good that day or it was the scenery that lent a hand to it. Either way, just as she had assumed, seeing him made her thoughts nothing more than clouds. It was as though her entire future rested on that moment.
“Hello Aaron, you have no idea how good it is to see you.”
Aaron’s eyes were deep and inviting, like a beautiful lake in a forest. “The same can be said for you. But what is troubling you now? You look distraught.”
Matilda shook her head and didn’t know where to begin. The hope fled her like an animal from a cage. “Things just feel like they are getting worse by the hour, and all I want is you.”
“Your words are beautiful yet scary at the same time. Please, what is it, Matilda?”
Matilda turned her eyes to the ground. “There is going to be a party for Charles, and all inclinations point that there will be a proposal. Charles will ask my hand in marriage. My mother will get her wish, and my future, your future, will be ruined. I’d be lying if I told you that I knew what to do.” Matilda felt herself wanting to cry but held it together. “I have thought and thought, and my mind is betraying me, Aaron.”
“This is absurd. How can life be this way? How can there be such a lack of choice in someone’s life?”
Aaron seemed to search his brain for any answers, but Matilda could tell that they just were not coming to him. It pained her to see him so uncertain. If anyone had been the certain one out of them both, it was him. So, seeing him vulnerable like that made him appear all the more mortal.
“We must think of some way to remedy this situation. It isn’t fair. It does not feel moral. Whatever happened to free will?”
“Free will is something that appears to have rules as well. I have been thinking about what to do regarding Charles far beyond the amount that feels right. It is a problem that keeps me up at night, Aaron. But with each passing hour, my hope dwindles lower and lower.”
“You were the one that introduced me to believing in hope,Matilda. You cannot let that belief slip. It is the one special trait that makes you, you.”
Hearing that warmed Matilda’s heart to a point where it did give her back some motivation. But it wasn’t enough to qualm her worries completely. At that point, the situation was bigger than herself.
“I just,” Matilda began, not quite knowing where her words wanted to take her. “feel trapped. It is like being chained to a wall. Except that wall is my future.”
“There is always a way. Every chain can be broken. You just have to have the backbone to break it. You are stronger than you think you are. Would you have ever thought that you’d be standing out here in the circumstances that you’re in? If I had told you this a year prior, you would not have believed yourself to have the strength.”
“But what if this is as far as I can go?”
Aaron said nothing but then lent her his eyes. He became sceptical. Of what, Matilda knew she would soon find out. “Would you reject Charles? Why don’t you just do that?”
Matilda knew that her face had grown pale. That was all it took to let him down instantly. He would not understand the repercussions of rejecting Charles. That was evident by his reaction. How could anyone understand the burden on her shoulders but her? Matilda could only make her best attempt.
“Aaron, please do not mistake my actions as anything else but sincere.”
Aaron shook his head. “How can I not mistake it for anything else? A simple rejection would make Charles understand that you are not interested. Wouldn’t that make the most sense?”
Matilda knew Aaron to be a very literal man. Even though he could dream and allow his imagination to roam to the best of places, solving problems was something he did not deem to be abstract. But some problems in life were abstract without a clear answer. And those Matilda learned were the hardest.
Matilda let out a sigh, trying to figure out the best words to not disappoint Aaron further. “It isn’t that simple.”
“Do you care about him?”
“I care about him as a friend, and rejecting him would only bring him scorn. The days where you would not speak to me, I learned what rejection felt like. And I would not want to place that feeling on anyone. You must also understand that any rejection coming from me at the party would be public. The humiliation associated with that, I can’t fathom.”
“But you would rather sacrifice your entire future to spare him some shame? It sounds more like an excuse. On top of that, you must see that they are making the proposal public so that it is harder for you to say no. It’s all a carefully devised scheme.”
Matilda did not enjoy the matter that Aaron was explaining to her notions that she was already aware of. Anger and frustration had not been a side of Aaron that she had seen. It was clear that when he experienced those feelings, he tended to talk down to her. Looking into his eyes, she could see the fear. A fear that was spawned out of possibly losing her. “I know all this, Aaron. I have gone over the situation in my head more times than I can count. I know why it is being done the way it is. My mother is vindictive. I love her, but there is no crossing her. It is always her way or no way.”
“I understand. I am also trying to put it into your perspective. But it begs the question, how could we ever be together if you do not reject Charles? The moment you say yes is when you and I cease to have a future. I do not say that to put any added stress onto you. But I stand here in sincerity with that question.”
