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I pull off the auburn bob and look at myself in the mirror.
Holy shit. I’m really a mess.
I wash my face and pat it dry with some paper towels. I’m blotchy all over, and my eyes are red and swollen. Thank God, the sunglasses will cover a good part of my face.
I get changed into another dress and put on the black-haired wig. I look sufficiently different.
With a deep breath in, I open the toilet door and step out. No one pays me any attention as I walk through the carriages until I find an empty seat opposite an elderly woman who reminds me of my grandmother. I force a smile as I sit down, and she returns it with a compassionate one. Yes, she can tell I’m upset.
After an hour of staring out the window and frantically scanning every station for Tiero’s men, the old lady gets up to get off the train in Lugano.
Before leaving, she spontaneously hugs me and tells me in broken English that all will be okay.
I wish.
But it’s sweet of her to say. If everybody is as friendly in Lugano as she is, maybe I should get off here as well.
I know little about this Italian-speaking town in southern Switzerland, just that it has a brilliantly blue lake with the Alps as a backdrop.
Longing fills me. The mountains are calling me.
Nothing moves a mountain, except maybe faith, and my soul is craving their perfect stillness.
I’m tempted to jump off the train but remind myself that I should get into the German-speaking part of Switzerland first. At least I’ll be able to talk to the locals there.
I grew up speaking German with my mother, but since her death I have had little opportunity to speak the language.
Oma and I still talk in German, but since she isn’t able to recognize me anymore, that too has become a rare occasion.
The train terminates in Basel which has no mountains, only the river Rhine. A half-baked plan forms in my mind to get off the train in Lucerne.
I’ve never been there and heard it’s beautiful. It’s where the Alps begin, and the town lies along the banks of Lake Lucerne… sounds pretty idyllic to me. I might hide in a village around there to determine my next steps.
Getting away is starting to look like the easy part. How will I avoid being caught again without any help?
It’s after midnight, and I’m lying in the bed of a little bed-and-breakfast in Lucerne. I told the owners my luggage and all my documents got stolen which isn’t even a lie.
They were happy to accept cash payment, and I made up a random address when filling out their register. My hosts were so wonderfully understanding, they even gave me pajamas to sleep in and some toiletries.
Despite my exhaustion, I can’t sleep. Too many thoughts are swirling in my head, keeping my mind active.
My heart feels like it’s broken into a million pieces.
The ache is unbearable.
I knew it from the beginning, didn’t I? I knew from the moment I met Tiero that being with him would mean heartache.
That’s why I resisted him for so long. Though, I thought the heartache would come when my vacation in Sicily was over. And it brought heartache… though of a different kind.
And when I got over his betrayal and gave him my heart once more, he broke my trust all over again… cutting me even deeper.
The pain is crippling, and I hug my legs tightly, needing to hold on to something. And for right now, I only have myself.
I want to call Rhia so badly, but I can’t get her involved in this mess. Tiero is monitoring her, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to her because of me.
God, I hope he’ll leave her alone. I need to get in touch with her to warn her. But how?
I need a burner phone. Could I call her grandmother? Or does Tiero monitor her as well? Probably. He doesn’t leave anything to chance.
