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Jesse set his GPS to the airport, and we rode there in total silence. No radio, no conversation. It crossed my mind that Travis wouldn’t be happy that I was traveling with Jesse, but he’d also understand my predicament. I couldn’t be picky about free tickets to get back to Vegas for my mother’s funeral.
Once we got to the airport, checking in and going through security was a blur. It wasn’t until America squeezed my hand while we waited to be called at the gate that I noticed how lost I felt.
“You haven’t spoken in two hours, Abby. Do you need anything?” she asked.
I shook my head.
She squeezed my hand again. “Shepley will be on the next flight out. He’ll meet us at the hotel in the morning.”
I nodded, staring out the window.
Halfway into the flight, my mind began to focus on what it meant that I couldn’t cry. I’d just seen my mom not long ago, for the first time in almost two years. She’d given me closure. I had to wonder if she knew she was dying. If that was goodbye.
I was seated in the middle of a three-seat row. Jesse was watching something on the screen in front of him, America was gazing out the window She left her ear buds out of her ear in case she was needed but kept herself distracted so I didn’t feel like she was hovering.
Since Travis couldn’t be with me, I was glad that she was. Besides my husband, only my best friend would understand exactly what I needed in that moment. Sometimes it felt like she knew before I did.
When the wheels touched the tarmac, the jolt snapped me to reality. I hadn’t been able to speak to ask Jesse questions, as if I’d been on autopilot, too. The way my mom had died was still a mystery to me, and I’d known for hours that she was gone.
Jesse helped us check into a room at a hotel off the strip, scoring us a discount.
“Is that from an old connection at the Bellagio, or because you work for Benny?” America asked as we walked to the elevator.
“Both,” he said with a smile. He pressed the button and we waited in silence.
America seemed to have gotten the same sense that I had, Jesse was obviously trying not to say something, and no one wanted him to ignore that feeling.
We walked up to our room and waited as Jesse used the key card to open the door. He waited quietly as America began unpacking our suitcases and organizing the bathroom as she always did.
“I, uh, I’ll find out what we need to do.” Jesse said finally. “I know her body still has to be claimed by family.”
“Mick hasn’t done it?” I choked out.
“Mick’s been MIA. I’m not even sure he knows. They’re expecting you. Call the funeral home and they’ll do the rest; help you make arrangements and cover all the bases. We used the same one for both of my grandfathers.”
“I remember,” I said, focusing on a tree outside. It was similar to the one outside Travis’s—our—bedroom window. That thought alone made me feel calmer, although, I wasn’t sure what calmer than numb could be.
Jesse bent over the desk and scribbled something on the hotel stationary. He ripped it from the pad, started to hand it to me, then decided to offer it to America. “Here. The name of the funeral home we used and the address for where she … where she is.”
“Thank you,” America said.
“How did it happen?” I asked, looking back to the tree.
Jesse wrung his hands and fidgeted. “You know, Abby. She hasn’t been doing well for a long time. She drinks more than any man I know.”
“In the end, I mean.”
Jesse winced. “You don’t … you don’t want to know. She’s gone. Just leave it be.”
“I do. I do want to know.”
“She’d been in and out of the hospital for months. The last time I saw her she looked, I don’t know, kind of bloated and uncomfortable. Her eyes were yellow. Her little body was just tired.”
“Was she at home when it happened?” I asked.
“No, she was in her room at the hospital. She’d been there for a couple of days.”
“Good,” I said, nodding. “That’s good. Was … was she alone?”
