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After the excitement settled down, they opened the rest of their gifts and her mother and Lily got the brunch ready. Zara pulled her phone out and texted Ren the news and said she’d see him in a few hours.
* * *
“Everything okay?”Ren’s mother asked when he read the message on his phone.
“Yes. Why?”
“You looked concerned and then you smiled. I wasn’t sure who was texting you this early unless it’s friends.”
“It’s Zara,” he said. “She wanted to share the news that Rose got engaged and Lily is pregnant. Guess a lot is going on over there this morning.”
“It seems when it rains it pours for families,” his mother said.
“That is true,” he said. “How are you holding up?”
His mother had been fine on Thanksgiving. She had a few sad moments that he’d seen, but she wouldn’t talk much of it. He wasn’t sure if it had to do with not wanting to work Ren up talking about his father and bad memories or she wasn’t ready to talk herself.
He felt the least he could do was broach the subject though and give her the time to talk if she wanted.
He had to get through this and that meant helping his mother too. He wouldn’t be that selfish if she needed him. He’d gone too long being selfish because of his relationship with his father. He never should have distanced himself from his mother like that.
“I’m fine. It’s only been your father and I for holidays for years. We never did much.”
Which made him feel even guiltier. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around more or didn’t come to town for them.”
“I understood. I think your father did too. You came back a few times early on and it seemed nothing had changed. It wasn’t worth the tension in the room during a holiday.”
“I didn’t think so either. Looking back though, I made a lot of poor decisions in my life. I’m man enough to admit it. I’m trying to not do the same again.”
“At least you didn’t say you are trying to fix them,” his mother said. “You can’t, you know.”
“I realize that. The most I can hope for is to not do them again. I don’t plan on it.”
Max was sleeping in his playpen. They’d opened more gifts, but his son was only interested in the first thing he got his hands on.
For Ren it was an emotional day bringing back more memories. Conflicting ones.
When he was eleven he’d gotten a computer for Christmas. His own. He’d been thrilled, his father helping him set it up. Though there were still digs about Ren being soft now and again, he felt his father was trying.
A week later, he’d written his first program. A sailboat moving across water. Sure, it was rough and elementary looking, but he’d been so proud. His father laughed with him, but then said, “If only you could handle sailing that smoothly.”
He tried to laugh, but it still hurt. Maybe his father didn’t always try to be mean, but it sure came off that way by then.
“How are things with you and Zara? I’m assuming she was with you last night?”
“Yes,” he said. “We opened gifts with Max this morning. It was everything in my life I never thought I would want and can’t seem to find a way to get it going forward.”
“It’s barely been two months that you’ve been back in town, Ren. Give it time. Did you go overboard with gifts again? You tend to do that.”
He looked under the tree and saw all the things he’d gotten for his mother. He’d done that for years too. But he’d mailed them to her then.
“We didn’t. Or I didn’t. I got her a sweater that I thought she’d like and a bracelet.”
She loved the bracelet but wasn’t thrilled that he’d spent more than what she’d thought they’d agreed on. It was a white gold bangle. It was simple with a design in it, not gemstones. He wanted to do something more, but then told himself not to do it.
He’d been eying earrings and necklaces, but the simple bracelet she could wear at work if she wanted and not worry about it hurting another kid or being broken. He thought that he was being practical.
“That is something at least. You don’t have much time left here. I hope you aren’t pushing her.”
