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Sudden as a flash flood, I was slammed with all the emotions I had been holding back, and my shoulders shook with my heaving sobs. I felt hands all around me, comforting me, soothing me as I purged myself of all my doubts and fears and heartbreak.
I wasn’t sure how long I cried, but as I began to feel more in control of myself, I was able to take stock of my surroundings. Einri, Will, Brex, and even Epione were around me, lending their support, and I could see Tuck and Little John a few steps away, unsure what to do in the face of all the emotion that was pouring out of me. I huffed out a watery laugh at their expression.
I looked beyond them, and my breath caught at all the people in the surrounding area. It looked like the entire Greenwood was walking with us, and I even spied several servants and staff from the castle. The number of people was stunning.
“We suffered a terrible loss, but you know Uncle Jasiro would have been proud of what we were able to accomplish.” Will whispered, and it nearly sent me into another sobbing fit, but I swallowed it down. The knowledge was painful, but I knew it was true.
I turned to my dear cousin and hugged him close. “I’m sorry you had to deal with this on your own, but I’m here now.” I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for what needed to be done, but I was determined to give it my best. No more hiding. No more disappearing.
“We are heading into the Icelands to find a place for the Greenwood. Once I know my people are safe, we can decide what comes after. But I don’t know what to expect here, and the smells here are different.”
I looked at Einri as he was speaking, and it felt like a spark of an idea was trying to ignite but wasn’t quite ready to bloom. Something about what he said…
“Before we go much farther,we need supplies, medicines. The people aren’t prepared for the cold, and I need to be able to treat them.” Epione cut in. “Now that we’re sure Arrow is okay, we can’t keep going off halfcocked.”
“There were some small villages near the border that may have supplies.” Little John said.
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do.” Einri’s tone was commanding, and I couldn’t decide if it was attractive or annoying. Probably both. “Little John, you and Epione go see if you can gather some supplies and meet up with us. We’ll keep going in the morning.”
Will looked at me before speaking up. “They’ll need more than two people to carry supplies, I can go with them.”
My mind rebelled at the thought. I need him here, where I can see him! Too much has happened lately for me to trust him out of my sight.
Einri looked at him for a few moments. “I would prefer it if you stayed with us. Tuck can go, instead.”
Tuck nodded in acquiescence, but Will looked mutinous. I threaded my arm through his. “Please don’t leave me just yet.” I whispered.
He deflated and nodded at me, crestfallen. At least he didn’t look like he was wanting to pick a fight anymore.
“Well, boys, there’s no time to waste. I don’t like leaving this many people without a healer, and the sooner we leave, the sooner we get back.” Epione slapped her hands together and then rubbed.
Everyone dispersed and began heading in different directions. They all seemed to know exactly what needed to be done without being told, and I stood, awkwardly, not knowing what I should do.
I looked around, noticing beyond my immediate surroundings for the first time, and was startled to see snow covered mountains in the distance. I’d never been this far north, and the highest point I’d ever seen before now were a few hills. Even from a distance, the mountains looked huge and imposing, with their white snow caps and massive height. I felt small and insignificant as I gazed upon their majestic prestige.
“They’re humbling, aren’t they?” The soft voice of Brex floated to my ears, and I felt myself being pulled back to the present. I turned to her, surprised to see she was still here. “That wasn’t the word I was thinking.”
She smiled and wrapped her arm around me. “You have had a lot of people worried for you and willing to do whatever was necessary to make sure that you were okay.” She commented, which just made me feel ungrateful.
“I’m sorry I worried you.” I truly was grateful for all everyone did for me, but it was overwhelming. I was so exhausted and had gone through so many emotions today I just wanted to lay down and sleep for a few years. And yet, I felt like I had already missed out on so much. “How long was I… out?”
“A week. It felt like the longest week in my life.”
I jerked away from her, shocked. A week?
Her lips twisted wryly. “You do realize no one blames you, right?”
I turned towards the mountains again, hoping to hide my expression from my friend. She was too perceptive for my tender emotions just now. Unfortunately, she wasn’t having any of it and stepped back in front of me. “I already saw your face, ‘Row, and I can guess what you’re thinking. Epione explained to us a little about what your brain was going through, but even before then, no one blamed you. And I’m going to keep reminding you until you realize it.”
If I was honest with myself, I didn’t fully believe her, but I couldn’t have asked for a better friend than her. She was always on my side, no matter what, and I loved her dearly for it. I resolved again to do my best as Brex showed me where we were sleeping for the night.
The fog found me again.
Rolling into my thoughts and weighing me down. Brex woke me the next morning, but I couldn’t muster the will to acknowledge her. She sounded worried, yet I couldn’t feel anything through the mist in my mind. I curled under the thin blanket and shivered, the darkness of my subconscious gripping me in a vice so tight it hurt to breathe.
I sat up, disoriented, feeling like the walls were closing in on me. Spotting my cloak hanging on the tent support, I grabbed it and pulled it on, then strolled out the door.
The world was dark but the glow of light on the horizon meant that dawn was drawing closer. Snow crunched under my booted feet, my cloak dragging behind me.
