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Guilt slams into me fast and hard.
If I hadn’t betrayed her, maybe Jay would have come back to town earlier. Perhaps he would have never left. He would have been there to give her a ride. She wouldn’t have been walking through the park that night. She would still be here with us.
Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh.
It’s not Jay’s fault. It’s mine.
I should have made my flight that morning. I should have been more responsible and not drank away my feelings the night before. Knowing I was going to have to face Sam when I got back was overwhelming. After dinner with my parents, I went back to my room and started taking shots. The mini fridge was stocked with little bottles of alcohol, all of which I emptied before passing out.
My parents didn’t think to check on me before they headed to the airport. We were on different flights. They had no reason to think I wasn’t going to make mine. I’d always been a responsible child.
Not that day. The maid found me lying on the floor of my room when she came in to clean hours after I was supposed to check out. I was mortified and hungover. After packing and rushing to the airport, I sent Sam a text asking her to cover my shift, explaining that I missed my flight.
She didn’t question me about why. She agreed and told me to fly safe. Said she was excited to see me. Wanted to know what time I was going to be back in town.
Sam was a true friend. She cared about others. Would have given the shirt off her back if it meant helping someone in need.
And me? I was the bitch who betrayed her. Who made out with her boyfriend. Twice.
I’m the reason she’s dead.
I may not have been the one that killed her that night, but it was because of me the opportunity was there. I’m just as guilty as the one who took her life.
