AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The words are out of my mouth before I can sensor myself. “He was probably going to rape her.”
Jay’s shoulders tense as he reaches to pick up my notepad. “Why didn’t he?”
“I don’t know yet. Maybe because she wasn’t alert. Perhaps he wasn’t given the chance. I want to listen to all the interviews. If they talked to him, I’m hoping his voice will give something away.”
Jay nods as he reads through my notes before setting them back on the desk and turning to face me again. Our eyes lock, and I suddenly feel like the shy college student I was the first time I met him, unable to speak. I feel everything, though. He’s communicating with me, and what I’m reading in his gaze has my heart pounding faster, louder, begging to be freed. To be held by the one man who has the ability to heal the broken pieces.
“Why are you really here, Jay?” I finally ask, forcing my eyes to remain locked on his as I channel any ounce of inner strength I can muster.
“I wanted to talk.” The way his voice drops, I know he’s not referring to the case. “We never did get to have that conversation you promised me.”
“What conversation?” I ask, breaking eye contact when my voice begins to shake as I pretend to not remember the last night we were alone together. The way his body felt pressed against mine. The guilt that haunted me in the minutes, days, and weeks that followed.
It takes Jay three long strides to reach me. He stops directly in front of me, places his finger under my chin, and tilts it up until I’m staring directly into his eyes as he pushes the door closed with his other hand.
“Things have changed, Drea.” His voice is filled with purpose but also desire.
“I know that.” I barely manage to squeak out the words.
“Do you want to know what hasn’t changed?”
It’s a trick question. Don’t answer it.
“No.” Clearing my throat, I straighten my shoulders, focus on the dimple on his left cheek, and try to ignore the longing in my heart. “Everything has changed, Jay. Sam died and a part of me died along with her.”
“Why are you shaking then? Why are you breathing like you just ran two miles on the treadmill? Why can’t you look me in the eyes when you lie to me?”
Jay’s right hand cups my cheek, and I involuntarily lean into it, my eyes falling closed. Warm. His skin is always so warm. Or maybe it’s because he lights a fire inside of me and has since the moment I met him.
“It’s always been you. Since the very first day.” His words are barely above a whisper even though we’re alone. Even though we’re standing closer than we have in years. Closer than we should be.
“You were with Sam. We couldn’t be together.”
“And now?”
Opening my eyes, I muster all the strength I have left in my body to fight my attraction to him. “Now we’re celebrating her life. We’re here to remember the person she was, the person we both loved. To find closure so we can move on with our lives.”
Taking a step back, Jay stares down at me, his six-foot-two frame making me feel small even though I’m taller than most girls at five-foot-six.
“Do you remember the night after we met each other?” He closes the distance between us again, and I match his movement, stepping back. “I came into the bar to pick up Sam after work.”
“Yeah. I offered her a ride, but she said you insisted on picking her up. She was so excited to introduce us.” The look of excitement when Sam spotted Jay across the room is something I’ll never forget. She waved her fuzzy pen over her head at him. When I turned to see who she was waving at, my stomach dropped.
“I was going to break up with her that night. I’d spent two days thinking about you. Looking for you everywhere. Watching out my front window for your Jeep …” His voice trails off as he closes his eyes and sidesteps me, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
“What stopped you?”
“I saw you. I saw the expression on Sam’s face. Her only real friend was Mia and Mia had Spencer. I couldn’t take you from her because I knew if I did, the chances you and I would get together were slim. If I hurt Sam, you wouldn’t run into my waiting arms the way I wanted you to. You’d run the other way. You ‘would be there to comfort Sam.”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t have. The moment I found out you were dating Sam my heart sank. I also vowed not to break her heart by betraying her, no matter how much I wanted you. The way I felt stopped mattering the moment you walked into the bar that night. Sam and I had only just met, but I knew we would be friends forever. She was the happiest person I’d ever met, and I couldn’t destroy her spirit. That’s not what friends do, no matter how long they’ve known each other.”
“But we did. Betray her. More than once.”
His words cut deep. A reminder of the only bad thing I’ve ever done in my life. A reminder that I need to be strong in his presence because even though Sam’s gone, he belonged to her and she deserves my loyalty in death since I couldn’t give it to her in life.
“We can’t change what happened, what we did. I’m glad she never found out. It would have broken her heart. That doesn’t make it okay. It doesn’t make it any less unforgivable.” Turning my head as I speak so he can’t see the devastation on my face, I stare at the discarded candle on the desk, focusing on the burnt wick. Its blackness stands out against the cream color of the wax.
Jay quickly pushes himself off the bed, ’his hands on my hips before I can protest. I’m staring at his sculpted chest, the fabric of his T-shirt barely accommodating his muscles. I wouldn’t be surprised if it ripped in half from the tiniest tug of my hands.
