AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Fourteen
The significanceof today wasn’t lost to me when Jay cupped the back of my neck and pulled my lips to his. The intensity behind his kiss didn’t erase the years of betrayal I’ve held onto. It didn’t ease the guilt I still carried in my heart.
Those things only dulled while a different feeling blossomed.
Waiting. Wanting. Longing. Feelings I buried down deep over the years.
Afraid to admit them to anyone. To say the words out loud.
Yet, I’ve called his name in my sleep. On multiple occasions.
The first year I was back in LA I would dream about him almost nightly. That we were given our chance to be together. His kisses always stole my breath, and I would wake up panting, the ache between my legs too much to bear. I’d be forced to take care of myself. And every time I would start to teeter on the edge of the cliff, Sam’s laughter would ring in my ears and I’d start crying.
The worst was when I had company.
I compared every date I went on with what I thought it would be like if the guy across the table were Jay instead. They never measured up. The way they kissed me didn’t light a fire deep inside of me. My pulse didn’t race. My heart didn’t beat wildly in my chest.
Because they weren’t Jay. They never would be.
Dating was pointless. My heart belonged to someone already and there was no way for me to take it back. I didn’t want to even though I knew I should let him go. We were worlds apart, and not only separated by miles but also by the death of Sam.
I was prepared to spend the rest of my life alone. My battery-operated boyfriend got the job done. What did I need a man for anyway?
Then I answered Spencer’s call, and it feels like my entire life has been turned upside down again. I came back here understanding it would be hard. Knowing today, of all days, could potentially destroy me all over again.
Yet, it hasn’t.
I feel stronger. Braver.
A lot of that I have Jay to thank for. His presence has always forced me to confront my feelings and push them down deep. To smile through the pain. To find the good in a bad situation.
He doesn’t know it, but every time I saw him in college I cringed internally as much as I would swoon. I would watch him when I was certain no one else was looking. Study his mannerisms, looking for flaws. Needing to find something that would change my opinion of him.
In reality, I watched him with admiration in my eyes. Not only because he’s handsome but because he’s kind. A good person at heart. Generous with his time. Smart.
He has a heart of gold and a soul as deep as the Grand Canyon.
Five years may have passed since I last saw him, but those things haven’t changed. Neither has the way he looks at me, with lust in his eyes. They practically burn my skin as they travel the length of my body from head to toe and back again until I’m staring into his darkened hazel globes.
“We don’t have time,” I protest, knowing his thoughts match my own.
“Says who?” he asks, pulling me against his chest and dipping his head so he can kiss the sweet spot behind my ear.
“Says me. I need to shower or we’re going to be late.”
Placing my palm flat against his chest, I attempt to push out of his embrace, but he holds tight, never stopping his assault on my neck. His lips are silky smooth against my skin and I can feel the moisture pooling in my panties.
Why am I trying to deny him again?
Oh, yeah. We have a marathon to run.
Another nudge from me and Jay lifts his head, a devious grin on his face. He starts walking us backward toward the bathroom, and all I can do is smile because I know what happens next.
We get dirty before we get clean.
Late seemsto be a thing with us. I’ve never been late a day in my life until recently. In fact, I’m the one who shows up fifteen minutes early to everything. If I’m not at least that early, I feel behind. Rushed. It’s a feeling I don’t like and try to avoid at all costs.
Yet, showing up late with Jay’s arm wrapped around my shoulder doesn’t bring about the sense of panic I expect. It could be the two mind-blowing orgasms I had in the shower. Or the third one as he bent me over the bathroom sink.
