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Nodding, I follow Julian out of the room. We're halfway out the door when I realize I don't have my phone to let Lex know we're on the way.
Rushing back into Julian's room, I snag it off his desk, and the envelope catches my eye again. Without giving it a second thought, I slide it inside my purse. I don't know why he's giving up on his dream, but I'm not.
After we're dressed,I sit on the edge of Julian's bed and pat the spot next to me. "Sit with me for a sec."
You know that look people get when you say, 'we need to talk'? Well, I purposely didn't use those words because I didn't want to freak him out.
He still has that look on his face.
"Is this where you break up with me because you got what you wanted? If so, I'd rather stand."
"Shut up and sit down." I force out a laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood, but my efforts fall short.
He cautiously takes a seat, his eyes on me the entire time. When I take his hand in mine, he immediately stands and starts to pace.
"Okay, before you say anything, I need you to know that I'm not ready to give you up. I know we said that we weren't putting labels on this, but I won't lie; in my head, I've put a label on it. And I'm okay if you're not ready to label it yet, but—"
"Julian, stop. I'm not breaking up with you."
"Because you can't because we're not dating? Or because you don't want to?" The fear in his voice causes it to hitch as he speaks.
"Because I don't want to. Now please, sit down. I have something I want to tell you."
Sucking in a deep breath, he lets it out slowly before retaking the seat next to me. This time when I take his hands and thread my fingers through his, he doesn't pull away.
"First off, I want you to know that I'm not ready for this to end either." Julian lets out an audible sigh of relief. "Second, I want you to know that I believe in you, and because of that I have to tell you something. I hope you'll understand that it came from a good place, and you won't be mad at me."
He stares at me blankly as I muster the courage to confess my sins.
"Remember last week when I found your application to culinary school?" He nods, still clearly confused, so I continue. "The deadline was today."
"I know."
"And you didn't send in your application."
Shrugging, he brushes off my observation.
"Why?"
"I told you, I decided not to apply. Culinary school feels pointless since I'll just end up right back here, running the restaurant."
"I submitted your application for you," I confess before I lose my nerve.
The silence between us thickens with each second that passes, and Julian doesn't speak. I open my mouth to apologize but stop myself. I'm not sorry. Regardless of whether or not he is angry with me. Regardless of whether they accept him. Because if he is accepted and he still doesn't decide to go, that's fine. But he can't go if he doesn't apply, and I didn't want this to be his one regret.
"We should get going," he finally says, raising from the bed and releasing my hand. "You know how my mom feels about being on time."
Yeah, I do.
I also know his mother loves him very much. And that if she knew he was giving up on a part of his dream for her, she would be irate. It's not my place to tell her, but if she asks me, I also won't lie for him. No matter how upset he gets with me.
The ride to the restaurant is tense. Neither of us speaks. I'm afraid to. A million things could be going through his mind right now. When he thought I was breaking up with him, he wasn't ready to give me up. Right now, I'm starting to question if my actions have changed his mind.
We set up the tasting stations in silence. The kitchen staff begins to arrive, music is turned on, and there's a buzz of activity. Still, the energy between Julian and me is tense. And from the looks we're getting, people can see it. They can feel it. Because they stay away, avoiding eye contact any time I look in their direction.
At exactly two o'clock, his parents join us in the prep area where we've set up. I'm about to launch into my presentation when Julian walks away without a word. His mother takes notice, her eyes following him until he rounds the corner, but she doesn't say anything.
"Shrimp tacos are a fan favorite in many restaurants. One of mine personally as well. But have you ever had them in a lettuce wrap?" I hand each of them a sample as I detail the ingredients of the taco, highlighting the health value of it and the mango salsa Julian helped me create.
