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Brady
I've screwed up.I'm not sure what I did exactly, but Mya made it perfectly clear I did something wrong.
She hasn't spoken a word to me all week.
She's ignored my texts.
Avoided me in the hall of the science building when I spotted her, turning on her heels and storming off in the other direction. Of course, I followed her, needing answers, but more than anything, wanting to kiss her. She darted into the restroom. I waited ten minutes, and she didn't reappear. Girls were starting to look at me suspiciously, so I forced myself to move on.
I haven't seen her since.
Not even a glimpse.
But she won't be able to avoid me tonight.
The Kappa house is hosting the first party of the year, and the Zetas are partnering with them which means she's going to be in attendance. I wasn't planning on going for long, but I'll force myself to stay until she talks to me. My anxiety is already at an all-time high with the uncertainty hanging between us. Being in a crowded house is going to force it off the charts.
But for her, for my dove, I'm going to push through.
With a smile on my face.
Which is why I'm standing outside the Kappa house, the bass of the music vibrating beneath my feet, the house already buzzing with activity even though the party only started an hour ago. People are scattered across the front lawn, red plastic cups in their hands. Laughing. Drinking.
There's a group of girls dancing in a circle on the front porch. Their clothes leave little to the imagination, drawing the attention of a group of guys standing on the sidewalk. Watching. Staring.
I'm walking into my darkest nightmare.
This isn't an exclusive Kappa party. There is no guest list. Anyone and everyone is invited tonight, and it appears they've all shown up.
As I make my way inside, I'm hit with the scent of sweaty bodies and stale beer. Bodies gyrate against each other in the living room, barely enough room to move to call what they're doing dancing.
Taking the stairs, I bypass the throngs of people and head to the second floor. The hallway is empty, but I can hear giggling behind a few doors. Most likely people hooking up already.
There's a small crowd at the bottom of the other stairwell, and I force my way through. Once I reach the kitchen, I'm pleasantly surprised to find it less chaotic. And my roommate is standing next to the keg with the Kappa pres, Max, next to him.
"Gentlemen." My greeting is more enthusiastic than I planned.
"Someone's in a good mood tonight. He must have his escape plan all mapped out already," Max chirps as he fills me a cup.
"I always have a plan."
"And one day we'll figure out how you manage to get out of here without anyone noticing."
"No, we won't." There's a knowing look on Julian's face. He thinks he has it all figured out when really, he has no clue.
We've only known each other for three years. I've known Finn and Max since high school. I moved to Oak Harbor in ninth grade. Max and I had three classes together that first semester and became fast friends. Finn and Max were a package deal. Which is funny because I ended up enjoying Finn's company more than Max's.
When we first started hanging out, I had my anxiety under control. Or, at least, I thought I did. I kept to myself mostly, focusing on fixing up my bike. Or helping Finn with his car. If we hung out, it was mostly at Max's house. I was comfortable around his family and his sisters. It wasn't until our junior prom that I started feeling overwhelmed with crowds again.
And since then, I haven't been able to shake it. Or get back in a pool.
My parents have begged me to talk to a therapist, but I refuse. This is something I need to work out on my own. And I will. Eventually. I'm just not going to force it, and I sure as hell don't want to talk to a stranger about it. If I'm not comfortable confiding in my friends, why would I be comfortable telling someone who doesn't know me at all.
I honestly thought college would help me overcome whatever it was that made it feel like an elephant was sitting on my chest when I was around strangers. It hasn't. I try to take smaller classes, avoid sitting anywhere but the back row of lecture halls, and have found paths around campus that are less crowded.
And I always have a plan to get out of any situation before my anxiety cripples me.
"Great turnout." Julian rolls his eyes when he realizes I'm going to avoid commenting on his statement.
