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Crap. Why did I say that?“I forget. We should make lunch now. I bet the kids are starving,” I tell him, scurrying around Digger as fast as I can.
Climbing out of the water, I wrap myself in a towel. I shouldn’t look, but I do. As Digger walks toward me, the muscles in his arms and torso flex in a most delicious way. He runs his hands through his wet hair to get it off his face, then walks over and picks up another towel. He smiles like a cat who just caught a fat mouse. “For the record, I’m really glad you wouldn’t have panicked.”
Chapter20
Digger
Well, that was certainly my favorite trip up the mountain. I wore a smirk the entire trek down, and … actually … it’s still there. Harper wanted me to kiss her. I would have never thought that a woman like her would be interested in a man like me. I certainly never thought I’d be interested in someone like her. But here we are.
I know she wouldn’t want anything serious with all she has going on, but a fling might be the perfect thing to distract her. Not that I have any intention of going down that path. Even though that’s normally how I roll, I don’t want to do anything that could make Harper’s life more difficult than it currently is.
Although, the fact that she’s having those types of thoughts might mean she’s getting closer to realizing she can do better than some guy who doesn’t respect or love her. And if I were able to play some small role in helping her move on with her life, that would be enough for me.
Guilt gnaws away at me as I watch her crouching next to the fire pit, setting up the kindling to make our campfire for the evening. I should have told her that her douchebag husband is at the lodge. But if I’d done that, then we would have never gone up to the falls and that was obviously a journey she needed.
She’s chatting easily with Wyatt, who volunteered to help her. She’s laughing at something he said, looking completely at ease. To look at her now, you’d never know her entire life is falling apart.
I take a few minutes to go through the food supplies and realize we have enough food for tomorrow’s breakfast, but after that, we’re going to need to get back to civilization—whether Brett is there or not. I should probably call back to the lodge to see if there are any new developments, but somehow, I can’t bring myself to do it. I’d rather not be aware of any more information that I don’t plan to share. I just want to enjoy this last evening of peace without the outside world crawling in.
The kids are so worn out, they crawl into their sleeping bags early without any suggestion from me. Once they’re asleep, Harper and I sit beside each other at the campfire and sip slightly warm beers. I should have tied the six-pack to the dock and lowered it into the lake like I usually do to keep our beverages cool.
“You’re getting really good at keeping the fire going,” I tell her as she stokes the burning embers with a long metal poker we keep at the cabin.
“It’s sort of addictive, isn’t it?” She picks up a small log and tosses it into the flame. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for my children and for me, Digger. You’ve taken great care of all of us, and it means a lot.”
“Just doing my job,” I tell her.
“I’d say you’ve gone above and beyond for us.” She smiles at me for a second, then her face grows serious.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing.” She looks stricken before turning her gaze back to the fire.
“There’s something on your mind.” What’s on my mind is the two of us at the swimming hole this morning. If the kids hadn’t been there and if she weren’t in the middle of a separation, well, let’s just say, I would have seen where things might have gone.
“I don’t want to ruin anything by saying something you may not want to hear.”
What could she possibly want to say? “Go for it. I’ve got broad shoulders.” Having said that, I still take a long pull on my beer to fortify myself.
“It’s just … I couldn’t help but feel kind of sad today. Watching you with the kids. The way you are with them—patient, fun, firm when you need to be, encouraging …” She trails off, poking at the fire again.
“That made you sad?”
“You would make an incredible dad, Digger. It seems almost like a crime that you’re so set against having a family of your own.”
“I know it’s hard for other people to understand, but I’m happy with my life the way it is. I’ve got the boys and I’ll always look out for them and do what I can to give them the best life possible. It’s enough for me.” I glance over at her and see an intensity in her eyes that I haven’t witnessed before. “It really is enough.”
“I’m sure you think it is,” she says. “But it’s different when you have children of your own. The connection is beyond anything you can ever imagine. It’s pure magic, and pure vulnerability. There’s no love quite like it.”
She turns back to the fire and stares into it like it’s a crystal ball about to divulge its secrets. After several moments, she says, “Brett’s a lousy father. He won’t put in the time. He just tosses cash and prizes their way instead of being there for them. He doesn’t get on the floor and play games with them, he isn’t the one who gets up at night with them when they’re sick or have nightmares. The kids are like accessories in his life. It’s like they’re there to make him look good.”
She releases a bitter chuckle. “Do you want to know the craziest thing? They love Brett like mad. They don’t know what a good dad is, and they absolutely adore any crumb of attention he throws their way.”
Turning to her, I say, “They deserve better than that, and so do you. You all deserve a man who wants to protect you, not hurt you. I hope you know that.”
Her eyes search mine.
“I mean it, Harper. You’re an amazing woman. Just the way you are. Not because of your job or how you look.” I lean toward her slightly. “You’re thoughtful and caring and the way you look out for your kids, it’s … well … it’s obvious to anyone who spends more than a few minutes with you that you’re a wonderful mother. Your kids are as great as they are because of you. They love their father as much as they do becauseyouhave made them feel so safe and secure with your love. You’re all they really need.”
