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“Oh my gosh, Alpha Draven, I’m sorry I’m late.” A dark haired woman rushes forward, bowing deeply as she moves to take my place. She almost trips over her feet as she attempts to do two things at once, but my hands shoot out automatically to steady her.
“It’s alright, thank you for coming in on such short notice,” I assure her, chuckling at the blush that creeps on to her cheeks.
“Thank you,” she sputters out, and moves to the bar to take the next order.
“Lindsey should be off her break any moment and I’ll come join you. Your father’s office is just behind us,” Seline says, pointing to a door just down the shadowed hall to the side of the bar. Her face slackens for a moment, her mouth flapping for a second as she fumbles for her words, “I mean was—” She shakes her head, and I give her a small smile. It all happened so quickly, at times, I too still forgot he’s truly gone.
I slide out from the bar, and slip my jacket back onto my shoulders as I walk down the hall. I know the way, still remembering the narrow hallway to the back offices. I’d followed Dad back here too many times to count, to learn how to run this business. At least he had taught me how to do one job properly.
Once I’m through the black door, I close it behind me, blocking off the noise outside almost entirely behind the heavy steel and soundproofing. I pull in a deep breath staring at the back of the door, unwilling to turn and take in the room just yet. I hadn’t been allowed in my father’s office at home very often, but this office was different. Despite everything that happened with my father, I do still hold fond memories of him, and a lot of them were here, watching him working and learning how to run the club.
I steel myself for the onslaught of emotion to overwhelm me as I turn to take in the office, but as my eyes run over the furniture, the walls, it’s changed so much it’s barely recognizable. The desk is on a different wall, the antique switched out for a more modern design, fitting with the club exterior. It was almost as though he completely changed this room to fit in, rather than it being his comfort place where he could relax and get lost in his work while taking peace in the pumping bass barely audible through the walls.
My shoulders slump with relief at the unfamiliar room, but a small pang of loss pierces my heart. I wish I knew why he did it, what changed to make him get rid of the pieces that made him at home. If he did it when he lost my mother. Had the meaning of this place changed for him when he lost her? Did it turn into a constant reminder of her wild and free spirit, twirling about, her white dress billowing out around her as she moved carefree about life.
A buzzing in my pocket pulls me from my thoughts, and I put a lid on the questions that will never be answered as I reach for my phone. I grimace at the name flashing on the caller ID, moving to the sleek leather chair behind the silver metallic desk knowing I’ll need to take a seat for this conversation.
“Hey, Monte,” I say, placing the phone next to my ear and wince as I prepare for the barrage of questions I know are about to be launched at me. I may have forgotten to fill Monte in on everything that happened, but in my defense I had a lot going on.
“Hey Monte?” he asks incredulously. “That’s it? I haven’t heard from you in over a day, I’ve been calling you all day. If it wasn’t for Silas I wouldn’t have known if you were even alive.”
My lips purse at his questioning tone. I’d purposely avoided Monte all day, not knowing how to handle the situation, not when his feelings are becoming increasingly clear, and mine are getting muddled more and more every day. Despite me avoiding him, he surely would’ve known where I was, he could’ve found me if he truly wanted to.
“He said you were injured, you should be in bed resting. I went to check on you, but I was told you went to the club. Is that really such a good idea? I can pick you up.” His words are rushed and tinged with concern as he continues to ramble on, and guilt twists in my gut. I suppress the huff of annoyance I wish to release, knowing he’s only looking after me, but honestly all of this is becoming a bit suffocating.
“I’m fine, Monte,” I assure him, running my hands over the smooth metallic desk. I can’t help but focus on it, wondering again why my father had chosen it. There doesn’t seem to be any drawers in it, and he loved to have everything at his fingertips and to shove it in drawers for meetings. It’s almost as though it was all for show, a piece of decoration with no real purpose like on a movie set.
“I still think it would be best for you to take it easy tonight. You can ask Seline tomorrow, or better yet, just invite her to the manor.”
My brows furrow at the panic in his tone. I have to put a stop to this; I can more than take care of myself, even more so now that my relationship with my wolf is on the mend. Rubbing at the center of my chest I idly wonder if that’s part of the reason that the weight of this place didn’t crack me. Now that I’m closer to whole, I can work through the crushing emotions and grow rather than letting them crush me. It will take longer than a day to fully repair the bond, but I know we made a lot of headway today, thanks to Zeke.
“That’s not necessary, Monte.” I let a hardness creep into my tone. Although I understand his concern, enough is enough. I’m his Alpha and the engagement is not real, he has no reason to worry about me more than he would any friend. “And I won’t change my mind,” I add just as he takes a sharp breath to argue with me.
“I’m sorry, Sky, I’m just worried,” he admits, chagrined. “We should meet tomorrow to go over what I found last night.”
“Do you have information on the leak or my father’s murder?” I ask with bated breath. Either would be a huge break for us.
“I think I have some information on the leak, but I need to show you in person.” I chew on my bottom lip, wishing I had gone to speak with him. Perhaps we’d be closer to protecting the pack right now if I had. But after this afternoon with Zeke I know I need to clear things up—I can’t keep on letting things hang in the air with Monte. I agreed to this arrangement because I was confused about my feelings and wasn’t sure what to do. He was the only man I’d loved, the last person I had a proper relationship with. I planned a future with him, had always imagined building a future with him, but after meeting my mates, there’s no comparison. They already understand me on a level that Monte never will, even with our shared pasts. We’re equals in every way, and despite how much they get under my skin, they understand the position, what I have to go through, and what my real needs are.
I know now what I have to do. I really shouldn’t even have to have this conversation. This is supposed to be a fake engagement, but his feelings are beginning to be too much to handle when I’m not reciprocating. I tried to slip back into how things were, pretending that no time had passed between us. But it had, and I’m not the girl I used to be, I’ve grown and changed, and my needs have changed along with me.
If I’m being honest, that’s why I had to come tonight. I’m beginning to fear that there may be a chance that Monte won’t accept my answer, or he may withdraw from his role in my inner circle. So I need strong betas on my side, ones that won’t be swayed by romantic entanglements. Seline has always been my closest friend, and our relationship is one that didn’t change over time. No, I could see it in her eyes as soon as they met mine, there was no resentment for the time that passed between us. She understands me more than anyone could, especially having worked with my father.
“Of course, Monte,” I say, keeping my tone soft, not wanting any of my emotions to bleed through my words. This is a conversation we’ll need to have in person. “We’ll set something up in the morning.”
“Have a good night Sky, and call me if anything seems off and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”
“I will, thank you, Monte,” I say, chewing my lip nervously for the conversation I need to have tomorrow. I want to explore my relationship with my mates, but I’m not sure I’m ready just yet to commit to marrying Everett. And more importantly, after what happened with the bears last night, I don’t want my mates to be targeted as my weaknesses, which they would be if that information got out too soon, so I will need him to continue the charade for the time being. Not only for me, but for the alliance and safety of our two packs.
I disconnect the phone and place it back in my pocket, casting my eyes over the familiar yet unfamiliar room. I don’t have more than a chance to inspect the random items decorating the desk before there’s a knock on the steel door.
“Come in,” I answer, knowing it must be Seline on the other side.
Sure enough Seline eases the door open, anxiety shrinking her shoulders in as though she’s unsure how this interaction may go. My brows knit together in confusion as I gesture to the seat before me. She closes the door behind her and takes a seat. I examine her closer than before now, her earlier confidence gone, as though with some distance she had grown wary of her easy tone with me. This is not what I want. I want someone who can easily call me out on my shit, and not kiss my ass. Who better to do that than my oldest friend, especially when she’s one of the strongest betas in the pack? But that does beg the question of why she wasn’t on my team last night and is instead managing the bar. It’s an important job, but our pack has female betas on the defensive and attack teams, she should be one of them.
“Please don’t do that.” I need to start this on the right foot. Just as my father’s inner circle was his close friends, I need that too. My words must catch her off guard as her brows furrow at my request.
“You know me, don’t treat me as you did my father, we’re friends.” Pain slices through me as I force myself not to use the past tense. She has always been my friend, but I’m not sure now if she feels the same.
