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“Thank goodness,” she sighs, her shoulders slumping in relief. I giggle at the wave of ease that washes over me, knowing now that she won’t be as stiff with me as others are. I need this sense of normalcy right now. “I’m so sorry, Sky,” she adds, her face falling as she glances around the office, clearly remembering the sobering circumstances for my return.
“Thanks, Seline, but that’s not why I came to speak with you today,” I admit, reaching across the table to clasp her hand in a comforting touch. Although I appreciate her condolences, I can’t focus on that right now, I can’t keep dwelling on the losses and emotional blows. I will never forget, and I will continue to search for his killer and bring the same fate raining down upon them, but I need to live too.
“I came to ask you to be one of my betas.” My lips lift up in an excited smile. Despite the hard time we have ahead of us, having someone like Seline on my side puts my mind at ease. I know she’ll tell me like it is, and even if we disagree with each other, we’ll get over it. I mean, if we could do just that as children, we definitely can as adults, right?
“Uh—I don’t know Sky,” she says, pulling her arm back to nervously rub her bicep, but she glances around the room, refusing to meet my eyes for some reason. I frown at her reaction, definitely not having expected that. It’s a great honor to serve as one of your alpha’s inner circle, a position many people couldn’t say no to.
“A lot has happened since you left.”
“Like what?” I ask warily, cocking a brow in question.
“It’s nothing bad, just things aren’t the same as they used to be.” She takes a deep breath, composing herself before continuing. “Monte and I had a falling out not too long after you were sent away, and we’ve just never repaired that rift. He was taken in as part of your father’s inner circle and I stayed far away. Both of us knew nothing would ever be resolved with him in that position.”
My brows knit together at her response. Sure, Monte was hesitant in giving Seline’s name but he did name her specifically. I just thought it was perhaps at both her and her father working together. I’d come prepared for that conversation, not for this.
“He didn’t mention anything about that,” I mumble, clasping a hand on my chin in thought. “What did you two even fight about? We all used to be friends, I’m sure we can all move on from it.”
Doubt creeps into my words, but I still scramble to hold on to that last piece of hope. I look inwards to my intuition and it still tells me this is the right thing to do. I know I need to have Seline with me, and I know deep down inside that I can trust her, more so than even Monte at this point.
“It was bad, Sky,” she admits nervously, rubbing her arms as she sheepishly meets my eyes. “It was just after you left. I had asked Monte to come with me, to visit you in New York. I know it wasn’t allowed, but after everything that happened I had to see you, to make sure you were okay after your mother …” Her gaze softens on me as I take a moment to digest what she just said.
I never had any idea that Seline tried to come visit me. I mean, I’d hoped someone would, but I knew that the move could’ve placed them in a world of trouble. Unless approved by the alpha, wolves in the Draven pack weren’t allowed to travel out of Endcliffe unescorted until we reached the age of eighteen. Even if that rule didn’t exist, my father strictly forbade anyone in the pack from visiting me. Monte said he asked my father to visit me—had he lied? Or did he not want Seline to get in trouble for suggesting they disobey my father’s rules? I knew breaking either of those rules would’ve had dire consequences for anyone that tried. But that didn’t mean that my mind hadn’t drifted to daydreams of my friends visiting me. I’d been pulled away from my life, my family, and my friends so abruptly. I missed that closure of at least saying goodbye or asee-you-soon.
“But Monte said no of course,” Seline continues, and I give her a sad knowing smile. Of course I knew he would have, he had always been so devoted to the pack and my father. “He threatened to even call my dad and yours to tell them what I had planned, and it just devolved from there. I told him he never loved you if he didn’t want to break the rules for you, just this once to make sure you were handling everything okay. We were all sixteen for goodness sake, you shouldn’t have had to deal with that alone. But he threatened to turn the pack against me and make sure I never got a place by your side when you returned.”
I purse my lips at hearing what happened between two of my closest friends. Guilt threatens to swallow me. I never wanted to be the reason that their friendship broke down. I could see both of their points. If it had been me, I would have gone with Seline, screw the rules. But that was me, I know because of my position I wouldn’t get in too much trouble, and with Silas being my father’s friend and closest confidant, she most likely wouldn’t have gotten into too much trouble either. But Monte had always felt a deep gratitude to my father and has always felt a need to prove himself. Although I can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment at his dismissal of Seline, I understand it. It’s why I hadn’t been very surprised that I didn’t get any visitors. And with my phone being replaced, I had no way of being contacted or contacting anyone else.
“I asked him who the strongest female beta is, and he gave me your name right away Seline. Maybe he’s been ready to put everything behind the two of you, but didn’t know how to approach you,” I say hopefully. I know I’ll need to have a conversation with him about this and hear his side of the story. I don’t want there to be any threats or animosity between them, but I know in my heart that I have to have her in my inner circle. Last night made it abundantly clear that I need as many pack members that I trust by my side as possible.
“I’m not sure about that,” she says, her brows furrowing, but she hesitates as though she isn’t sure she can tell me what’s on the tip of her tongue. “I just—I don’t want this to get between our friendship, you’ve only just come back, and I know you’re engaged.”
I glance down at the empty place on my ring finger. I haven’t been able to put it back on. Not after last night or the afternoon. I can’t deny any longer that my feelings are beginning to grow for both of my mates, and it feels wrong to have the weight of that diamond pressing down on my skin, a reminder of the lie that hangs over my head.
Indecision wars in my mind, my heart and my head battling with one another. I don’t blame her, especially since Monte threatened her position in the pack. She won’t trust that this isn’t some sort of ploy by him to manipulate me and sour my opinion of her over time. But I couldn’t be so easily persuaded, and if that was his intention, he’ll have another thing coming. My chest warms, reassuring me of my decision and it becomes clear what I need to do.
“I have something to tell you Sel, but I need your complete secrecy on this,” I say, an edge of hardness in my voice, relaying the severity of the situation with my tone alone. Trusting her to heed my warning without using any power, it would be disrespectful to a friend who hasn’t given me any reason not to trust her. The pack can’t know that the engagement is fake, and with everything going on, the consequences would be an unnecessary distraction.
“Of course, Sky, you can tell me anything,” she says, reaching across the desk to clasp my hand, her eyes creased in concern as they flit between mine. I draw in a deep breath, steeling myself. The urge to clamp my lips shut is strong, but I know this is the only way that she will give the position a chance.
“Monte and I aren’t really engaged,” I say quietly, worried about any potential prying ears. She sucks in a sharp breath, her body stilling as though waiting for the punchline that won’t be coming. Instead I launch into the story of everything that has happened so far. I tell her about the deal my father had made and my first meeting with the Whitlock pack. I spill every secret that has been weighing on my chest, grateful to actually have someone to share this with.
“Fuck, Sky,” she breathes, leaning back in her chair, her hands sliding off of mine after a final tight squeeze. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this alone.” My lips part about to say that Monte has been helping me, but really he hasn’t been there, not really. He’s helped with information, but he hasn’t been very understanding about what I’ve been going through emotionally. If anything he’s made the situation worse by pushing for more when he can see I’m clearly not ready for it.
“Ya,” I whisper, a small smile lifting my lips, grateful to have my friend back finally after all this time. We both sit in a comfortable silence for a moment, letting everything sink in. It’s cathartic to tell someone that I can trust everything that I’ve been going through.
“I never wanted to find my mates, not after seeing what my mom’s death did to my father. I never wanted to be in that situation, losing part of my soul, and I would never want to put any child through what I went through.” As soon as the words leave my lips, I know they’re true. I’d never admitted that before, not even to myself. I suppressed the anger that burned in my veins at my father pushing me away when what I needed was to be surrounded by my pack and what family I had left. And if that is what losing a mate would do to me, I couldn’t let that happen, I couldn’t be too broken to look after a future child. “But it just feels so right with them.” The confession slips out, as though my soul needs to remind me of the deep connection and how natural it feels.
“Sky, you would never treat a child like your father treated you,” Seline says, an edge of steel lighting her hazel eyes. My lips part, but she cuts me off before I can speak “I know you Sky. Sure, we’ve been apart for some years, but I know you down to your soul. You would never push your future child away in that situation, no matter how deep the pain is, no matter how lost you feel yourself. And if those mates of yours have the same fearless, loving heart as you do, they wouldn’t either.”
“They do,” I admit, feeling the truth of her words in my bones. Everett and Zeke may both be alphas, but neither of them are anything like my father. The way they handled not only their friendship, but the pack, has shown me everything I needed to know. And me, I could never let myself grow that cold, not to a child, not to someone who was part of the mate I lost. I would cherish them rather than locking them away.
“I’ll join you,” Seline says, jolting me from my thoughts. My eyes widen and my muscles freeze as though if I move or speak it may cause her to change her mind.
“Say something.” She chuckles nervously, a hint of uncertainty creasing her eyes.
“Really?” I exclaim, my smile slowly widening. I had almost expected her to say no, especially after hearing what happened between her and Monte.
“Yes, really. You know it was always my plan to work with you and to follow in my father’s footsteps. I was just concerned about our friendship, but it sounds like you can really use someone else on your side.”
