AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Of course,” I whisper, giving him a soft smile. I wouldn’t want anyone else telling my story so I’d never expect him to tell me about the others’.
I pull in a deep breath, steeling myself for the onslaught of emotions that have always accompanied me thinking about that night. The memory of her doesn’t weigh as heavily on me since my wolf and I reconnected, but I’ve never actually told anyone. My family and friends lived it with me, and I hadn’t gotten close enough to anyone to divulge that dark piece of my soul when I was sent away.
“I was sixteen when it happened, I snuck out to go to a party with my best friend and my then boyfriend.” I grimace at the low rumble that vibrates from his chest, knowing it will be even worse when I tell him who that was, but I know I can’t keep any secrets between us. “Seline and Monte,” I tack on, and wait for the reaction that doesn’t come. He just watches me intently. “My father was out for the night and forbade me from going, he said that it was no place for the future pack Alpha to be seen.”
Zeke’s lips purse at that, catching the hidden meaning behind my words, and I sigh in relief when he doesn’t comment.
Cringing, I remember the vitriol he had said it with, the hatred that leaked from his expression as I told him whose party it was. All the shifters were together for school, but the moment he heard that it was a fox shifter holding the party, there was no room to change his mind. Anyone who wasn’t a wolf was less in his eyes.
“So I waited until my mom went to bed and snuck out. I went to that party, and I was so mad at my dad and at my mom too for siding with him that I got drunk. Monte drove us there, but he had a few drinks and couldn’t drive home.” I scrub a hand over my face and squeeze my eyes shut while piecing together the rest of that night. Sometimes it becomes hazy in my mind’s eye, the alcohol making some of the details fuzzy. “I remember I got lost from them and I started to feel sick, it was the first time I ever had a drink so I overdid it. I called my mom and she hopped in the car to find Monte and Seline and take us all home. On her way she got hit by a drunk driver.”
My chest racks with a silent sob and moisture floods my eyes. No matter how much air I take in, my lungs take each desperate breath like it will never be enough. Zeke’s arm clutches me closer to him while his thumb tenderly wipes away the tears spilling down my cheeks. My muscles uncoil slightly with the sweet gesture, one I definitely don’t deserve.
“It was my fault, it was all my fault. If I’d listened to them that night, if I’d just stayed home, she’d still be here with me today.” I don’t even register the words leaving my lips, my thoughts spilling out without a filter.
Zeke’s hand slips from my back and I blink up at him in confusion. Of course, the first time I tell my story, to my mate no less, and he too blames me, sees me as irredeemable.
Despair washes over me as his hands plant firmly on either side of my face, strokes of color moving through his eyes as though the anger boiling inside of him has turned to lightning. I wince at the look, waiting for his words to strike me like a whip. I deserved it, I knew everyone truly felt this way, it was why my father sent me away, kept me at arm’s length—
“Don’t say that,” Zeke says, his tone fierce and unwavering. “It was not your fault, it was the other driver that killed her, not you. I don’t think I know anyone who didn’t sneak out as a teenager.” He shakes his head, his fingers easing their grip slightly as he tenderly brushes the hair from my eyes. His expression smooths out as he takes a deep breath, pulling in his anger.
I tilt my head into his hand, needing his warm comforting touch as confusion muddles my thoughts. It takes me a few moments to fully comprehend that the anger in his eyes isn’t at me. No—he doesn’t think it was my fault. He smooths a finger between my brows, and only then do I realize they’ve creased as I attempt to wrap his vehement statement around my head. Sure I had been told it wasn’t my fault, but it was always laced with pity, leading me to believe they were lying. But the light that blazes in his eyes, now cooled by my confusion, isn’t directed at me, well at least not for the reason that I think it should be.
“I know you’ll always carry guilt over your mother’s death, but you need to let that blame slip from your shoulders, because it’s not yours to carry.” His expression is drawn with concern, the soft, steady touch of his hand through my hair the only thing tying me to here and now, keeping my mind present rather than allowing it to slip back to that night for the millionth time.
I let the words sink in, allowing the sincerity to ease me. “You’re right,” I say through dry lips, my throat parched as I come to terms with the forgiveness I feel crashing in on me in waves. It feels as though my mother’s spirit is here pressing against my temple, offering me the support, guidance, and absolution that I hadn’t known I’d been searching for all along.
She was always the most in tune with her wolf spirit. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been with me this whole time and I was just too disconnected, too numb to truly realize it. My eyes prick with tears and I take in a shuddering breath, suppressing the urge to let loose another sob. This should be a happy moment, one of relief, one of healing, and one of new beginnings. Because that’s what I see when I look into Zeke’s eyes—a chance to grow and forgive myself, a chance to forgive myself for my past mistakes and embrace happiness. The guilt will never truly fade, but I can forgive myself and accept the universe’s forgiveness for the actions of a rebellious, irrational sixteen-year-old, the girl whose spirit died right along with her mother that night, only to be reborn like a phoenix from the ashes in the arms for her family’s enemy as a woman.
I give Zeke a weak smile, not because I don’t feel it, but because the overwhelming relief gripping me doesn’t seem real. It takes me away from him, my body like a foreign concept until his lips crash onto mine. His kiss is desperate and all consuming, and my mouth meets his with as much fervor, conveying my gratitude just as clearly as I’m sure he can sense through the mate bond—our hearts now connected on a soul deep level after claiming each other last night.
His tongue sweeps across my lips and I part them for him, the sensation sending waves of desire to my core. To my dismay he pulls away far too soon, giving me just enough to leave my body craving his. But the emotions hang thickly around us, and I know we have so much more to discuss. We’ll need to wait until another time to get lost in one another’s bodies.
Zeke trails his thumb under my eye, wiping away the single tear that had fallen. I shudder at the vulnerability; I've never been one to share my feelings so openly, but with Zeke it feels like second nature. The fortress surrounding my chest crumbles a bit more, the opening clear for him to walk through and embrace my heart in the same way our souls have already twined together, irrevocably tied for this lifetime and the next.
“I think it’s your turn now.” I chuckle as I nuzzle my face into his hand, giving into my instincts instead of holding back. “I want to know your deepest secrets.”
His eyes shutter, as though a wall slams down on the open adoration he was just watching me with. Eyelids closing, he inhales deeply, seeming to need to steel himself for what he’s about to say. When they flit open once more I can see the pain within them from wherever his mind had just wandered to. My lips purse at the tortured look, wanting to take away the misery that lingers in their depths.
“You’re right, it’s only fair that I tell you more.” He sighs, his chest deflating as his hand falls from my face. But I don’t let him retreat into himself. Instead, I cup his cheek, offering him that same support he gave to me, reminding him that I’m not going anywhere.
He gives me a grateful look, his eyes creasing in a genuine smile as he eases into my touch, soaking up the comforting caresses my thumb trails over his soft cheek and his rough stubble. I can’t help but think about how accurately that sums Zeke up. On the outside he seems rough, and I’d thought he was a heartless killer when I first heard his name. But his heart is the softest and warmest I’ve ever known, the perfect mix to warm my cold one and show me light I’d never even dreamt of before.
“You wanted to know how the three of us are able to work together to lead the pack? How we’re able to work under Everett even though we’re all alphas? Well I think partly it’s because of you, because we intrinsically knew our fates were tied together even before we ever met you. But also he saved our lives when we were growing up. Without him I wouldn’t be here today in the arms of my mate.” He trails his calloused hands down my arm to cup my hand where it rests on his cheek, and I suck in a sharp breath at his confession.
I had assumed that they may have been drawn together because they sensed each other’s bond to me, but to hear his life and Arsenio’s were in danger and my wild, rough, and rugged mate saved their lives is something that catches me off guard completely.
“There are some stories that are not mine to tell, but I’ll tell you my story,” he says, before pulling me in to plant a tender kiss on my forehead, and my chest warms at the sweet gesture.
“I told you that I grew up with my mother in human society, without knowing that I’m a wolf.”
I dip my head not wanting to speak and break his concentration, his furrowed brows betraying his inner turmoil.
“Well I didn’t know it then but she was so depressed at the time from being cast out of the pack that she turned to drugs to numb the pain.”
My brows crease at his admission and I try to imagine what he must have gone through as a child. Not only was he taken from his pack, and not told about his true self, his other half was locked away without any guidance on how to access it. And the one person he did have in his life, the one family member that he should have been able to lean on was struggling with addiction, leaving him to figure out the world on his own.
“One night one of her boyfriends was over and both of them were high on whatever their drug of choice was for the night. They got into a fight and he hit her. I tried to stop him but I was only twelve so he knocked me across the room.” He pauses, his eyes drifting closed at the memory, the pain and regret making his eyes dark and stormy when they open. “I locked myself in the closet and called the police. Thankfully, they were able to get there before he was able to do anything worse. But child services came along with them and took me from my mom. I ended up spending the next four years in and out of foster homes, and that’s where I met Arsenio.”
