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If it wasn’t bad enough that she planned an engagement party, she also practically forced me to try on every dress in the store today. To my relief, it wasn’t a wedding dress, at least not yet. Apparently, she has an appointment set up already for that next week. And thank goodness she was so excited to see Seline, she invited her along with us too. To top off my disaster of a day, the dress she chose for me was a monstrosity… and white. A shudder runs over my body just at the thought of it, and I repress the memories of my mother’s white dress Monte had left for me after my father’s funeral, and how wrong it felt to be wearing something that was so in conflict with my soul beneath.
The devil may work fast, but Vivian definitely worked faster. The engagement party she just came up with the other day was already set to happen tomorrow, leaving my head spinning on what I should do. I don’t even know how she was able to pull together an event so fast. But that seems to be the theme of the past few days. I feel as though with the pack that I’ve just been thrown one curveball after the other. The only time I was actually in the moment was the few times I was with my mates. And now after solidifying my bond to one of them, I’m supposed to pretend to be marrying someone else?
I allow Monte’s words to replay in my mind—I don’t want the pack to rebel, but honestly what choice did I really have? Either I take this risk and choose my mates, reveal the connection between us to my pack and theirs, or I continue living a lie in fear of an uprising. There are honestly more pressing issues at stake right now, and if they can’t come to terms with the men that the fates have tied my soul to, will they ever truly trust my leadership in anything?
I take another sip of my drink, allowing the liquor to chase away those thoughts. Am I truly ready to give up everything I had imagined my future to be for my mates? I took that first step today and closed the door permanently with Monte.
“I didn’t even read that text and my head is already starting to hurt,” Seline groans, taking another sip of her drink before holding her hand for my phone. She huffs out a breath of annoyance as she reads it over, shaking her head in disbelief. “She has the audacity, that’s for sure.”
“Mmhmm,” I hum in agreement, taking the phone back from her and shoving it back in my pocket, as though hiding that text would make all my problems go away. Well, that and the alcohol slowly warming my body. Hell, it’s already sloughing away the stress from my weary limbs.
“Do you want me to tell you what I think you should do?” she asks hesitantly, placing her drink on the counter as she pins me with her all too knowing look.
“Probably not, but I’m sure you’re going to say it anyway,” I tease, bracing myself for what I know she’s about to say, and wishing I could put it off a bit longer.
“I think you should come clean to the pack, tell them everything—about your father’s arrangement, about the plan with Monte, and about your mates. I think more people will understand than you think, especially since they’ll see how such a strong alliance will help us with the Langleys,” she whispers, leaning closer so that the few patrons at the other side of the bar can’t overhear us. “Sure, there may be some that are hesitant to accept it, but as a team, we can help you keep everything controlled. I know you’ve felt that you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but now with my father and me … and Monte in your corner, we can all stand together.”
I scrub a hand over my face and throw back the rest of my drink. “I wish I had more time to think about this. With the engagement party tomorrow, it really doesn’t give me any.”
“Well, that mark on your neck says a different story.” Seline chuckles as I clap a hand over the spot, forgetting that I put on a turtleneck to hide it after my talk with Monte this morning. Thankfully Vivian had barely been paying attention to me, so engrossed with herself that I was able to hide it with my hair while trying on dresses. “I’m just saying that solidifying the bond is a much bigger step than marriage, and you’ve already done that. So what are you really scared of?”
“I guess I’m scared of the mate bond, but more so of having that with Everett,” I whisper, the words ringing true as soon as they leave my lips. “At first I was scared of the mate bond altogether, because of how broken my dad was after my mom died. I never wanted to give someone else the power to put me in that place. But I’ve learned now that I wouldn’t do that, not to my family, friends or my pack. I wouldn’t treat others with the same cold callous regard, because I’ve been through that, and I would never want someone to feel how I’ve felt the past ten years.” I pull in a shuddering breath, reminding myself not to let anything show on my face. Our voices are pitched too low for anyone else to hear, but I’m sure there are eyes on us, there always are, watching my every move.
“Then what is it?” she asks, her brows creased in concern as she scans my face. Her hand twitches at her side as though she wants to reach for me but is all too aware of the patrons around us.
“I think I knew as soon as I saw Everett. His energy is intense, all-consuming, and possessive, and I know with accepting him, and accepting that bond, my life will change completely and I won’t care.” A warm, comforting sensation settles over me with that confession, now finally able to put into words what I’ve been feeling since I met him. My heart pounds—a mixture of excitement and fear bubbles up inside me. I’m scared of the change that would inevitably come with accepting that bond, and how much I might truly love it and love him.
A soft curse leaves Seline’s lips before she polishes off her own drink, and I nod in agreement. We sit in comfortable silence for a few moments before our bartender friend slides us another round.
“You ladies looked like you could use another drink.”
“You have no idea how right you are,” Seline grins, passing my drink closer to me.
“Why do I have a bad feeling about this?” I ask hesitantly, cocking a brow in question.
“Just take your drink and come with me,” she says, her eyes lighting with a hint of mischief.
Well, it looks like my drink limit is going out the window tonight. But fuck it, after the week I’ve had, I need a night to unwind.
SelineandIswingour hips to the beat, standing up in the private booth away from the crowd as the DJ mixes in the next song. A cheer rings through the dancefloor at the popular song blasting through the speakers and I bring my glass to my lips to take a sip before losing myself in the next song. This was exactly what I needed, a few hours to just decompress and catch up with my old friend.
The bass vibrates through my chest and I let the music take control of my body as I raise my hands in the air, careful not to slosh the gin all over me. Searching for the last memory I have where I just danced, my mind comes up blank. I can’t remember the last time I allowed myself to enjoy the moment, letting the beat relax me, working off all my excess tension and stress. I glance out at the crowd, watching the couples swaying together, their bodies wrapped in one another’s, the arousal permeating the air around them.
I can’t help but wish for one of my mates to be here. I imagine Everett’s possessive, masculine hands gripping me, his movement strong and sure, knowing exactly what effect he has on my body. Or Arsenio, I only just met him last night but his fire drew me in, enticing me to get lost in him and forget the world. My mind drifts to Zeke and our time last night and this morning—not only is our emotional connection next level, but he knows exactly how to coax every ounce of pleasure from my body. The way the light breaks through the darkness that surrounds his own heart, bright enough to soak through to me, helping to dissipate the black fog that has lingered for far too long. And for real. Every. Ounce. Of. Pleasure.
The warm fuzzy haze of alcohol has settled over me, and I pause to place my drink down. I’ve definitely gone over my usual number, but we didn’t dare indulge too much, just enough to ease the stress that had bunched in my muscles. But also just enough to make me even consider doing something reckless like calling Zeke and the others up to join us.
I reach for my phone, about to call him when I feel the familiar tug from my soul to another’s, to one of my mates. A grin stretches across my lips, and heat blooms in my chest, begging me to go and find whichever one of them just walked through the front door. Desire curls in my stomach, my body urging along with that soul connection. My eyes scan the crowd, trusting my soul to find them even amongst the mass of people surrounding me.
A familiar head of black hair strides across the club. I squint in confusion as I scan him, needing to make sure it’s him because despite the connection pulsing between us, he doesn’t look how he normally does. His hair is styled almost the same, but is perhaps a bit shorter, and instead of the usual black jacket, tee, and tight jeans he typically wears, he’s clad in a white polo, thankfully untucked, and dark blue jeans. My lips purse at his back, his tight muscles pulling the polo shirt taught. Well at least that’s familiar, the lines of his chiseled muscles visible even through his shirt.
I breathe a sigh of relief as he turns towards me, his own eyes scanning and searching for me. My smile widens as Zeke’s grey eyes meet mine, his grin stretching to imitate mine as they lock. The tension leaves my body at the familiar strong lines of his face and the dark stubble lining his jaw.
“Go to him.” Seline laughs, and only then do I realize I’ve stopped dancing, instead I’m standing still amongst the throngs of patrons grinding to the hypnotic beat. My desire comes rushing back full force as the sultry bass vibrates through my bones.
“Are you sure?” I ask, unable to even break from his gaze to look over at my friend.
“Yes of course I’m sure,” she says right next to my ear, her hands clasping my shoulders to turn me towards the exit. I don’t bother arguing with her this time and pat her hand in thanks. Images of last night flash through my mind, my hips grinding on him as I worked us both to our release. The memories leave me unable to form even a parting word in her direction.
