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Oh.
My foggy post-orgasm brain starts to clear, and I realize I just played right into his game. And I lost.
Damn it.
Well, at least if I’m going to lose, then I lose while in utter, and complete, bliss.
Chapter 15
I spend the rest of the afternoon nervous and bouncing around. Every sound I hear makes me jump, and every silent moment makes me think too much.
The hours tick by like snails trying to cross the sidewalk–slow and strenuous.
I try and read, and I try to sleep to pass the time, but neither works. When I take to pacing around his house, I all but drive myself to the point of insanity. Frustrated, I take the stairs two at a time and head into my room. I strip my clothes and grab the towel I used yesterday, and a razor from my bag, before heading down the hall to the bathroom. I don’t care if the water is like ice, I need to shock my body out of this crazed state I’m in.
I turn the water on and stick my hand under the spray, a stream of curse words flying out of my mouth. It’s fucking cold!
“Suck it up, Ash. Just do it,” I tell myself. Rolling my shoulders back a few times, I bounce from foot to foot to get my blood flowing, trying to work up the nerve.
Tightening the bun on my head so it doesn’t fall loose, I pull the curtain back and step over the tub into the shower, screaming when the water hits my skin. It feels like a thousand needles stabbing me from every angle, and over my entire body. What the fuck was I thinking?!
Sucking in breaths of air, my lungs constrict, but I force the air through anyway. My hands shake, but I shave my legs as fast as I can, and miraculously don’t nick myself in the process.
With convulsions taking over my body, I reach for the rose body wash I left in here yesterday, and drop it–my hands numb.
Shit.
I bend and pick it up, forcing my fingers around the bottle, just hoping they don’t snap like twigs. The icy water pelts my back and I have no idea how I’m even doing this right now. It feels like my body is slowly shutting down as the seconds pass–going numb until I won’t be able to move.
Lathering my body in the soothing scent of roses, I rinse off as quickly as I can, and then shut the water off so fast I’m surprised I don’t break the nob. I’m shaking so badly, it takes everything in me to lift my leg up and over the tub without falling.
I wrap my towel around me, and take slow and deliberate steps back to my room. I can barely feel my limbs. This probably wasn’t the best of ideas, but it worked nonetheless. I’m not jumpy, nervous, or pacing around like a crazy person anymore. That’s mostly due to the fact that I’m a human popsicle and can’t think or do anything. But still, it worked.
I’m just thankful I didn’t wash my hair, or I’d be even worse off. It’d probably freeze and break off like an icicle. I already learned that lesson when I was little and went outside in the winter with wet hair. It froze, and then just snapped off when I tried to put it up in a ponytail. I didn’t care back then, but I sure as hell don’t need that shit now.
Pulling my hair from its bun, I’m hoping it’ll help warm my neck and back. Shivering, I grab my phone and rip the towel off of me, and dive under the covers. I still have an hour before Ryan gets home, and I want to make sure I’m ready for him, and my punishment. Which, I won’t lie, excites me more than it makes me nervous. I know he’d never hurt me.
My phone is only on 25%, and I want to save some of my battery, but I see a bunch of missed texts from the group chat. Of course, they all want to know how it’s going and if I’m having fun with my sexy sheriff.
Hey! My phone is dying, but I’m here to report that I’m still alive, it’s still snowing, the power is out, and uhh…what was that last thing I wanted to say? Oh, right. I’m having mind blowing sex with the sexy sheriff…
Smiling, I send out the text and laugh at how quickly the responses come back.
So, are you leaving us for Maine now too, bitch?! Ellie asks.
What??!! No!! I’m just here having fun.
You sure?
Yes, bitch. I came here to clear my head, and I happened to find a man who has been helping me do just that.
Well, he’s cleared it of my job problems, but has muddled up everything else.
But it’s the same man you’ve been hung up on for months…and didn’t tell us. When was the last time a man did that?
Never. But I don’t need to tell them that. They already know.Why are you so hung up on me not telling you?
Mel takes the reigns on answering that question.Because that means something, Ashley. You’re always telling us your dating horror stories and the shit you deal with in bed. But you kept this from us…
