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Because I’m worth it.
I’m worth everything, and more. He may say he wants to give me everything, but I don’t think he even knows what that means, or how to do that.
Walking downstairs, I find Ash in the kitchen filling thermoses of coffee for both of us.
“I figured you’d need more caffeine.”
“I do, thanks.” Taking a sip of the black magic, my frayed brain starts to mend itself just the slightest. “What time is it?” I look around for a clock, and then see it’s already 7:45. “I have work at 9, so we better get going.”
“You’re going to go to work?” she asks incredulously.
“Yeah, why not? My life can’t be put on hold because my heart hurts.”
“Mel.” She gives me an ‘are you serious?’ look.
“Ash, let’s go,” I sigh. “I want to get this over with. He wants to see me, and I want my stuff. It’s that simple.”
“Are you feeling okay?” she asks, her brows pulling together, looking at me like I’m a little crazy.
“Yes.” Turning on my heel, I head out of the kitchen and out through the side door.
I’m trying to be brave. I’m trying to act okay, because then maybe I actually will be.
I need to put my walls back up before seeing him. I need to make sure Alex doesn’t break me further.
I don’t want him to see how he’s affected me. He doesn’t get that. He doesn’t get to hurt me and have the satisfaction of knowing it.
We silently get in Ashley’s car, and the ride back to The Rusty Anchor is strained with everything I have running through my head.
Pulling up, I see Alex sitting on the stairs, and when he sees me, he gets up and stalks over with purpose, the hard planes of his face somehow even more defined as if carved from granite.
His green eyes are as dark as the forest, with no trace of gold left. No redeeming light to hold on to.
This isn’t the Alex I know.
Something’s different.
“Please, Ash,” I whisper, turning to face her so she can see the desperation in my eyes. “I can’t do this. Look at him, he looks angry.”
“Not at you, honey,” Ash soothes. “At the situation.”
“Same thing.”
“It’s not.” She shakes her head. “Go. I’ll wait here if you need me. Or give me a signal to leave if you’re okay.”
Nodding once, I unbuckle my seatbelt and place my hand on the handle, hesitating. I want to know the truth, but I also can’tunknowthe truth.
Alex doesn’t let me choose, though. He opens the door and holds his hand out for me to take.
My eyes flit up to his, and what I see there has me lifting my hand and placing it in his, my eyes closing at the feel of his heat enveloping me. Skin-to-skin, he penetrates my hardened chest, and I shudder.
Wrapping his large, warm, hand around mine, he gently pulls me from the car and I stand before him, the walls I thought I put up all crumbling down as a single tear leaks from the corner of my eye.
“Mel.” Catching the tear as it rolls down my cheek, his eyes warm and search mine. “Let’s talk.” Closing the car door, he walks me over to his apartment stairs, but I stop short, refusing to go up.
“No. We can talk here.”
“Alright.” Letting go of my hand, he runs it through his hair, the beautiful dark strands messy from a night of the same repetitive motion. “What’s going on, Mel?” he asks, staring at me with a hurt expression.
