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“Nothingwashappening.”
“You know you can let loose occasionally, Mel. No one’s going to judge you for going after that hot piece of ass.”
“Ellie!”
“Oh, come on,” she says, rolling her eyes and taking a sip from a fresh glass of champagne. “We’ve both had enough to drink tonight to say these things openly. So, I feel confident in saying that Tyler is sexy as fuck and I want to strip that suit off of him and see what he’s got going on under there. He felt like a wall of muscles while I was dancing with him. And he’s a fireman, Mel.” she sighs, looking over to our table where he’s sitting and talking to Chris.
“So now you’re interested in a Taylor brother too? What is it with them and my friends?”
“Look at him, Mel. He’s so… Mmm.”
“Okay, yeah, you’ve had too much to drink.”
“Maybe.” She laughs. “But it’s because our best friend is MARRIED,” she exclaims. “Like, can you believe Ally is someone’s wife now? So weird.”
“I know.”
“Anyway, let’s dance!”
“Uhh…”
“Down your whiskey and let’s go, Mely!”
Chapter 2
2 weeks later…
I’m even more exhausted than ever. Going to Maine for Ally’s wedding a few weeks ago revived me, but since I’ve been back, I’ve done nothing but work and sleep. I can’t seem to stop being on the go. It’s been like that for years now.
I became a nurse to help people, but lately, it’s been feeling like a chore rather than a calling, and I’ve started to almost resent my patients for being sick. Which is crazy, considering it’s not their fault, and it’s my job to help them.
All the hospitals in the area are busy, crazy, overloaded, and understaffed. I get yelled at on a daily basis for doing my job correctly, and with a smile. I consider myself a nice person, but I’m being tested every day to see if I’ll stay that way.
I’m sitting in my car, parked outside of my apartment building, trying to gather enough energy to get out and walk up to my apartment.
When I finally trudge up the stairs, I open my door and shuffle over to the couch, plopping down straight away. My place isn’t much, just a small studio apartment, but it’s mine. I moved out last year when I couldn’t take the constant questions from my parents about my life, where it’s going, and when I’ll find a man. Blah, blah, blah.
They’re wonderful parents, but they hover. So, to pacify them, I do go over for dinner once a week since I am only a short drive away still.
I wouldn’t trade my independence for anything now, though. I love coming home to a place that’s just mine. Sure, I get lonely, but I barely have time to notice anymore. That’s probably why I keep taking so many extra shifts. My workaholic attitude is both the reason, and the product of my loneliness, and it’s a cycle that’s hard to break.
I had to skip lunch today because I couldn’t get away from my rounds, and even though I’m starving, I don’t feel like cooking. Instead, I roll off the couch, and strip my scrubs off on my way to the bathroom. I need a hot shower before anything.
As the water beats down on my tight back muscles, I rest my hands on the glass in front of me and close my eyes, feeling relief for the first time all day.
After twenty minutes of relaxing bliss, I shut the water off and slip on my silk robe and twist my wet hair up into a towel. Heading into the kitchen, I root around in the fridge, and decide my dinner will be swiss cheese cubes, crackers, and a big glass of wine. I love cooking, but I rarely do it anymore with my energy tank on empty at the end of each day.
Getting comfortable on the couch, I tuck my feet underneath me and wrap a blanket around my shoulders as I surf the channels, looking for something to get lost in for a while.
My brain is exhausted and my body is weak. I don’t know how much longer I can go on the way I am.
The business card on my coffee table stares back at me like it has every day since I got back from Maine. Dr. Taylor’s offer to help me find a job up there seems like a better idea with each passing day.
It’s what I’ve wanted for almost two years now – a quiet life in a small town. And now that Ally and Ash have moved up to Maine, it only seems fitting for me to consider it as well. I don’t have ties here. Other than my parents and Ellie, of course. But I can always visit. And I know Ellie will come and visit us, too.
Picking it up, I turn the card over and over in my hands, just thinking. Should I call him? Should I take a chance on something new? All I’ve ever known is my life here in New Jersey. I’ve never traveled much, I’ve never taken risks, I’ve never just said ‘fuck it’ and done what I wanted. Every choice and move I’ve made in my life has been calculated and well thought out. I always have a plan.
But I’m so sick of being careful all the time. Look where it’s gotten me. I’m sitting on my couch alone, and eating cheese for dinner because I’m too tired for anything else.
