Page 76 of When We Lose


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Let’s start there.

I’ve always had a spare key outside because I thought someone might need it when I wasn’t home, but that ends tonight.

I’ll call some people to install a security system. And I’ll do that before the renovation begins.

I walk in, turn on the lights, and look at it with fresh eyes. I’ve loved this place since I was little.

My mother cooked in this kitchen more often than my grandmother. She used to roast eggplants and tomatoes on a grill outside before bringing them into the house and preparing a stew on the stove with olive oil, herbs, and spices.

The food was delicious. Especially with freshly baked bread. She used to bake bread too, and my father loved her food.

A hand of angst wraps around my neck, bringing tension to my chest.

I miss these two people.

I miss my parents, and tonight is probably the worst time to think about it.

Tonight I’m alone, and Christmas is around the corner.

My house is inhospitable, I have no one to talk to, and I already had a fight with Kai, not to mention my heated discussion with his father.

Robert Walker.

The nerve he has, that man. He accuses everyone and points fingers at everybody instead of looking at himself.

What a dick.

How could he not see that Shauna left him because of how he treated her? And how can Kai expect me to abide by his rules when he gives me so little?

What did he think I would do?

He didn’t ask me if I had plans for the evening.

He thought I’d go home, and he’d just call me up tomorrow morning and make plans with me. If that.

Maybe he had nothing in plan when he said he’d talk to me this weekend. Yeah… Why bother?

Aren’t I on his payroll?

Enough of him.

I walk across the kitchen, enter the living room, leave all the bags on the couch, shed my coat, and toss it on the sofa before walking to the main entrance.

The snow blocks the door.

I need to do something about it. And I do.

I spend an hour making my place cozy again. I change my clothes, throw on an old pair of sweatpants, a T-shirt, and a sweater, and put on my boots before grabbing the shovel propped against the wall outside and cleaning a path around my place, the porch, and the front stairs.

I plug the lights in, and the tree in front of my house starts gleaming. Once I begin doing stuff around the house, I can’t stop.

It helps me not to think about Kai and the other stuff.

This way, I crush my frustration and hopefully get physically tired.

I finish the strenuous work outside before heading to the second floor. I wonder if there are Christmas decorations in this house. A plastic tree? I doubt it. If there are any decorations, they must be decades old.

Hope dies last, so I climb the attic ladder and push the door open.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com