Page 77 of When We Lose


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“Shit. I forgot my flashlight…” I murmur, looking around.

There’s enough moonlight to light the place somewhat. I see the boxes, the shelves, and the old stuff I need to get rid of.

My eyes move around. I don’t know where to start. I don’t remember seeing anything Christmas-related inside, and I’m in no mood to go through every box right now.

My gaze goes to the small window Kai has helped me with.

He has secured the latch, and as tempted as I am to open it and let the air get in and perhaps more light, I don’t want to waste time fixing it afterward.

The floor is so dusty I can see his shoe prints.

I study them. I can’t believe he stood right here in my house. We were on the phone, and he locked the window.

Where did that man go?

Why couldn’t he be there tonight with me at the hotel?

Or better yet, why couldn’t he call me when I left work, invite me to dinner, take me home, and be here with me?

My frustration proves to be more than a passenger feeling, and my eyes well up.

You can’t make things go the way you want.

You can’t make people do the things you want.

No one can.

So I can only roll with whatever it is, even if it hurts.

I move around aimlessly, searching for a box of knick-knacks, hoping that some wreaths or Christmas ornaments were stored inside.

My eyes go up to a shelf. I’ve never checked that box.

I drag it down, catch it, and take the lid off. I start digging and find a bunch of garlands.

It’s not much, but it’s something.

I pull down another box, and between the two of them, I select a bunch of things that can help me decorate the windows.

From a third box, I pull out several strings of lights.

These belonged to my parents. I remember them. If that’s the case, our old Christmas tree must be here too.

Where could it be? It was fairly tall, and it needed to be assembled, so it’s probably tucked in a box somewhere.

Disassembled.

I end up with one box filled with all the things I need before I place the other two boxes on the shelf and walk away to check the stuff in the corner.

That’s when I see them.

The shoe prints again.

Wait…

I stop.

Why would Kai walk to this side of the attic?

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