AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Hypocrite.
He was holding back, too. Why hadn’t he told her about his issues with alcohol, drugs, and his criminal past? He’d merely hinted at the topic. Because he thought it would make him a lesser man, that’s why. A girl like Sarah deserved better. It didn’t matter that she had her own mistakes to work through; they probably weren’t as bad as the havoc he’d wreaked in his younger years.
Dax faced forward, placing his hands on the steering wheel. As much as he wanted to get it all out in the open, he wasn’t ready. And if he couldn’t bring himself to show her his skeletons, then he couldn’t demand she show him hers.
He forced his key into the ignition and started the engine. The oxygen had been sucked right out of the cab and his mood had been completely altered. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t strong enough to date a girl like her, and she wouldn’t want anything to do with him. He’d always be the guy that girls were embarrassed about or ashamed to bring home.
They drove all the way back in utter silence; neither one of them had bothered to turn on a radio station. He scowled at the road, hating himself for his cowardice. The truck pulled up to the main house and Sarah launched from the truck before he had a chance to open the door for her. He climbed out and slowly walked around the front of his vehicle, then leaned against the headlight, his arms folded.
Her steps slowed as she made it to the porch and up two steps. Sarah was bathed in the golden glow of his truck’s lights. He could see just how broken she had become since they’d nearly kissed, and his heart ached from being locked up. As much as he wanted to march over to her and pull her into his arms, he couldn’t. That’s not what she needed, and it was probably the furthest thing from her mind.
Sarah’s fingers tapped on the wooden railing, and she turned around to face him. “Dax?”
He straightened. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
She didn’t meet his gaze, didn’t move from her spot. “For being there—for me.” Her voice could barely be heard over the engine from behind him. “I’m having a hard time sharing a lot about myself. But I want you to know something.” Her eyes lifted, and he pushed away from the truck to move closer to her, making it easier for her to find his gaze. “I wanted you to know that I really like you.”
The tightness in his chest moved through his whole body, from the way his toes curled to his throat closing up.
Sarah blushed. “Out of everyone I know, you are the one I feel closest to.”
He took a few more steps toward her. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
She offered him a small smile. “We say stuff like that, but we don’t mean it. This is the real world, Dax. Sometimes there are things about us that we have to keep to ourselves for whatever reason. I don’t ever want you to stop looking at me the way you did tonight.”
Her words reflected his concerns almost perfectly and hearing them come from her lips made the ache in his heart even worse. He swallowed the lump in his throat. It burned, begging for some alcoholic elixir that would ease the sharp jagged reality they found themselves in. “Maybe one day that could change.”
“I hope so,” she breathed. “Do you think you could look past those secrets I want to keep hidden and still want to see where things might go between us?” Her voice hitched and a tear slipped down her cheek.
He closed the distance between them and took her hand in his. “Of course I do.” He reached up and brushed the tear on her cheek. “You might be surprised how much I can relate to what you’re going through. Our past may be something that molds us, but those experiences are just that. You are not your mistakes.” The irony of how hard it was to listen to his own advice was not lost on him.
Dax climbed up one stair so that their gazes were level. She was hurting and wouldn’t let him in. He’d have to accept that she wanted to handle this on her own because he had no right to demand that she change when he wouldn’t do so.
He placed his hand gently on her cheek. “As far as I’m concerned, today can be day one.” It would be difficult to rein in his curiosity, but if it meant being with Sarah, he could do it. He had to. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You don’t have to tell me anything if it makes you uncomfortable. Let’s just make it easy.”
Sarah’s soft smile crashed into him, washing away the tension and the worries that had so easily suffocated him moments ago. “I like easy.” She glanced over her shoulder toward the house. “I’m not really tired. Would you like to go for a walk or something?”
“That sounds pretty good right about now.” Dax tugged her from the steps, toward him. They wandered along some of the paths closest to the house rather than following the trails they used when riding.
Sarah seemed to grow more comfortable as she leaned into him. “Where did you learn to dance?”
A slow smile spread across his face. “I figured you’d ask me something like that.” He peeked down at her. “Eve was really a hopeless romantic at heart. She taught all of the kids who came through her care how to dance and treat each other when we were out on dates. They were her own little etiquette courses.”
“Tell me more about her.”
That was an easy topic. Eve was the closest thing he’d had to a mother. She was the most important person in his life growing up, and every choice he made, he did so with her in mind. Dax found himself relaying stories of his childhood more readily than he’d expected. By the time they’d completed their rounds and had returned to the house, he’d probably given her enough stories that she knew more about Eve than she did Zeke.
“The best part about Eve was how she knew exactly what we needed even when we didn’t realize it ourselves.” Dax led Sarah to the porch swing, letting her settle on it while he leaned against a column on the porch. He rested his shoulder against the pole. “Remember when I said I wasn’t an easy kid? Well, she was literally an angel.”
Sarah gave him an empathetic smile. “You must really miss her.”
“I really do. I wish I would have come home sooner. Or realized she was struggling and had been there to help.”
Sarah swung back and forth, her toes grazing the wood porch. “What do you mean?”
