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Thomas knew he had an attraction for Sophia. And it was very strong, which was what made him uncomfortable. He hadn’t felt like this since he had been with Constance. At the time, Thomas had thought she was it for him, and everything was perfect.
But then he had proposed to her, and she had turned him down. She didn’t want him, and he was just someone to pass the time with. Thomas had been led on, and he was left broken-hearted. How he had not known that Constance was like that, Thomas had no idea. He had felt duped.
The attraction was the same with Sophia, but at the same time, it felt different. Stronger, somehow. And Sophia was not Constance. She was not the type to make you believe one thing and then do something else. She was even trying to ensure Thomas focused on Aimee instead of herself. Sophia was a selfless young woman.
God, was he actually beginning to care for a woman he wasn’t getting married to? It didn’t really make sense why he would focus on the wrong person. But Thomas had given up trying to understand how emotions and feelings worked a long time ago, especially when it came to Sophia.
Now Pierce was planning on courting her. His good friend, who was also known for having affairs instead of courtships. They were not well-suited when it came to their personalities at all. Thomas really didn’t want to see that progressing.
But it wasn’t up to him. It was whatever Sophia decided.
I want to be that person, not Pierce. That should be me.
Thomas shook himself when that passed across his mind. Was he insane? He shouldn’t be thinking like that at all. He had to be mad even to consider it.
He was in a real mess. Having an arranged marriage wasn’t meant to be this complicated. And he wasn’t supposed to start feeling such an attraction for the wrong woman.
Thomas thumped his head back against the back of the carriage. This revelation that he cared for Sophia more than he should didn’t make him feel better. He just felt awful that it couldn’t be directed at Aimee.
He had an awful feeling that he was getting married to the wrong sister.
Chapter 11
“Are you going to your little room again, Sophia?” Lady Westbury asked as Sophia rose from the dinner table.
Sophia hesitated.
“Yes, Mother,” she said quietly. “I want some time to myself.”
“What about your family?” Her mother frowned. “You shouldn’t be neglecting your family for your silly paintings.”
“I’ve been in your company all day, Mother. I think I should be permitted to go off on my own.”
Lady Westbury rolled her eyes while the viscount simply gave Sophia a nod of permission. Across from her mother, Aimee gave Sophia a sneer.
“It’s no wonder you don’t get much attention. You sneak off on your own too much. Nobody wants someone like that.”
Sophia didn’t respond. After being in the company of her mother and sister all day, she was worn out. She just wanted a quiet moment that didn’t involve Aimee making sly remarks at her, something neither of her parents stopped. She partly wished for her other sisters to be present; their husbands were more likely to put Aimee in her place. But they had left shortly before Mister Shore turned up, so now Sophia was on her own.
Barely glancing at her sister, Sophia left the room and went to her art room, locking the door behind her. But instead of picking up a paint brush and getting on with what she had been doing that morning, Sophia opened the outside door and went into the garden. She shouldn’t, not at this time of the evening, but she really needed to get away. If her mother found out she wanted to go for a walk, she would either refuse or insist that Sophia had a chaperone.
Sophia didn’t want a chaperone. She just wanted to be on her own.
Picking up the shawl she left hung up inside the door, Sophia made her way across the grass and towards the woods. The estate was large enough that she could walk along the boundary line and consider that a good walk. Some fresh air to clear her head and think about what had happened during the day.
Having Mister Shore coming to court her was still a bit of a shock. Sophia was still coming to terms with the fact someone was interested in her. It didn’t completely make sense; she was sure something was going on, and it would turn out as a bet that Mister Shore had agreed to take on. With his reputation, something he had confirmed himself, there was no reason he would be interested in her except for some sort of bet.
And yet he seemed to be genuinely interested. Sophia felt he was being flirtatious with her, but she wasn’t sure. She kept her composure, not responding to the flirtations and diverting the topic of conversation when it started pulling away. In her mind, this was not the time or the place, and if she read it wrong and started responding, it would be embarrassing.
However, even though Mister Shore was good company, and he did work hard to flatter her, Sophia couldn’t stop herself from thinking about Mister Ford. It was hard, especially when he turned up with flowers of his own for Aimee. They had looked at each other, and something had passed between them.
It had been a bit like a spark that shot through Sophia’s body. It had left her feeling off-balanced, and Sophia didn’t like it. She preferred being in control of her emotions, and whenever Mister Thomas Ford was around, she felt like she was floundering around with no proper foothold.
What did that even mean? Why was she reacting in such a way? It did feel humiliating to feel like this when it was her sister’s future husband. Things were pretty much in place for the two of them to get married. The banns were ready to be read on Sunday, just two days away. Sophia should have been relieved that Aimee had a marriage approaching for her, just so she didn’t have to live with her anymore. Instead, she felt nauseous.
Something had gone really wrong. Sophia had met her other sisters’ husbands before they got married, and there was nothing wrong with any of them. She hadn’t found them attractive in a way that made her insides feel wobbly. So what was different about Thomas Ford?
Sophia gritted her teeth. She just wanted to have a walk and not think about him. But every time she tried to think about something else, everything went back to Mister Ford. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone?
