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She wanted him to touch her, to brush his hand against her cheek. She had taken her gloves off and left them at the house, so she wasn’t encumbered while sketching. Would he even hold her hand without a glove for the first time?
“I suppose I was vulnerable.” Thomas spoke so suddenly that Sophia jumped. “Things … a big thing for me happened shortly before Father told me about this engagement, and I just didn’t have it in myself to turn him down. I wanted something to take away from the pain I was feeling. If I couldn’t have the one person I loved, then I didn’t want to go searching again.”
Sophia’s mouth dropped open. Had she heard him correctly?
“What … what did you say?”
Thomas looked pensive as he glanced at her, his eyes shadowed.
“I was in love. Her name was Constance. Things were passionate between us. Constance was like fire, and I loved her for it. I thought it was only natural that she and I get married. It was what I wanted for us. But when I proposed, she ended up telling me that she had been offered marriage from someone else, that her family had arranged it.
I had no idea about it, and I tried to persuade her to choose me. But she refused and said she would be better off with someone who could give her the lifestyle she deserved.” He glanced away, shaking his head. “A duke’s son is better than a viscount’s son, in her opinion. It didn’t matter that she loved me; it was always going to be about the title.”
Sophia listened to this with growing realisation that if Thomas had managed to get this Constance to marry him, they would never have met. He wouldn’t have ended up arranged to marry Aimee, and she wouldn’t have encountered him. She realised where her thoughts were going and looked away, staring at the ground. She would not start thinking about that.
This was a mess. They had just admitted their feelings for each other, and already it was going downhill. And Sophia also realised that Thomas was far more experienced than her. He might be confident in what he was feeling right now, but it was leaving her off-balance.
She didn’t know what to do.
“You’re looking like I’ve just told you I’m dying.” Thomas’ voice was subdued. “What are you thinking?”
Sophia wouldn’t look up. She couldn’t, not with her heart racing as it was. She could feel tears prickling her eyes, and she blinked them back as best she could.
“Sophia?”
Fingers brushed against her cheek, and Sophia jumped, not realising that he had moved so close. Now he was standing before her, and he was touching her. His fingers felt hot, almost burning, but Sophia couldn’t bring herself to pull away.
She allowed him to turn her gaze up and saw the look in his eyes. There was a softness there that she had not seen from anyone except Christiana. But there was something different about this. It was warmer, deeper than that. It made Sophia catch her breath.
No man had ever spoken to her as Thomas had. No man made her feel like she had butterflies in her belly. Thomas Ford was different.
And she felt selfish to think that she wanted to keep it.
“What are you thinking, Sophia?” Thomas whispered.
“I … I’m thinking that I should go back to the house.”
“Why?”
Sophia gulped. She wished she wasn’t so shy now. This was not a time to be shy.
“You’re about to marry Aimee, and from what my mother tells me, Mister Shore is courting me. We can’t act on anything.”
“You think we’re betraying them?”
“Of course we are!”
Something passed across his eyes, and Thomas pulled her to him. Sophia knew she should have pushed him away as he kissed her, but the moment his mouth practically slammed onto hers, she couldn’t resist. Her sketchpad fell to the ground, and she had no idea where her pencil had gone as she reached for Thomas, clutching onto his arms as he kissed her. He was thorough, fiercer than before.
But it tasted even sweeter.
Almost bittersweet.
This can’t happen anymore. She had to stop this before it got too far.
“Thomas …” Sophia managed to break the kiss, pulling her head back as Thomas tried to kiss her again. “We can’t …”
“I don’t want to marry Aimee. And I’m not going to marry her. Not when I want to marry you.”
