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There’s a blonde at the bar touching Jamie right in front of my face. He’s turned to the side, facing her. She takes her hand from his back and puts it on his chest. Why isn’t he pushing her away? She is all smiles, seductive smiles. He takes her hand from his chest as he eyes me nervously.
“Alexander? Who is that?”
He looks at the bar and then at me.
“Katelyn.”
I knew it. I fucking knew it.
Scarlet looks at me, “Go! Get your ass to the bar.”
I do.
Jamie slides his arm around me and Katelyn looks pissed.
She takes my hand to shake it and says it’s so nice to meet you. She pulls me closer and whispers in my ear.
“He’s mine. He’s always been mine. You are a temporary distraction. You don’t seem like the submissive type. Enjoy it now. He will come back to me.”
Letting go of her hand, I stand on my toes and pull Jamie in for a kiss. He grabs our drinks and we head back to the table. Katelyn stomps out like a petulant child.
We sit back down, and he looks worried.
“What did she say to you?”
“I’m a temporary distraction and you’ll go back to her.”
“Stella, baby, no. I will never go back to her.”
“You recently did.”
“I love you Stella.”
“Enough Jamie.”
“I’m going to go. I’m exhausted. Scarlet you look radiant. It was so great to see both of you. Jamie, I’ll see you tomorrow or the day after. Maybe that’s better. Tell Katelyn I said hello when you go see her.”
Jamie has a shocked expression on his face. I went to the elevator to head to my room. Did I just send him straight into her arms? The way she touched him and he didn’t recoil. I have to assume that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I thought he might come after me. I wanted to matter enough for him to come after me. But he didn’t. I make it to my room and somehow make it to bed. I’m so distraught.
I lay in my bed and curled up in a ball and sob. I’m not enough for him. He wants her. Maybe he loves her. What did she mean about me not being submissive?
Suddenly, the thought of a world without Jamie paralyzes me. What have I done? He’s going to go to her. I got him all excited earlier and now he’s with her. I torture myself by picturing her down on her knees, looking up at him, licking her lips the way I have done more than once. The thought chills me to my core. I hear my phone. A text alert.
From: Jamie… I miss you Stella. Why did you leave?
From: Jamie… She’s nothing to me. Nothing. It’s only you. I got a room here. 523. If you want to see me, you will know where to find me. But I will not push you. I love you.
I cry more. I cry and cry until there seem to be no tears left. He’s at the hotel. He didn’t go to her. Why? My heart hurts again.
To: Jamie… You let her touch you.
From: Jamie… Can I please come to see you?
To: Jamie… It’s probably not a good idea.
From: Jamie…. Why?
To: Jamie… Because I’m upset and addicted to you. I can’t trust myself around you. And frankly, I want to stay mad at you.
