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“I don’t enjoy pain usually, if that’s what you’re trying to ask me. I do, however, like the structure. Having Luke enact repercussions, even physical correction, brings a lot of comfort.”
“I sort of like pain,” I admitted. “But the bigger part is not having to think so much or make big decisions.”
“I know.” Elias reached down and set my legs in his lap. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you’re wired, sweetheart.” Counting the number of lines completed, he raised his head and glanced at my notebook. “You’re almost done. We can talk later.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
Elias
Staring off into nothing while Emma finished her lines, I tried to calm the thoughts spinning through my head. Glaring insecurities from years of never feeling good enough. The bullies in medical school—ones I’d told no one about—cocky, good-for-nothing arrogant pricks who thought they were better than me just because of their ages. Bullied and held back for years at the hospital I loved because they thought I couldn’t possibly know what I was doing. They judged me solely on my good looks and not my brain.
Dozens of spoiled women who used me. Luke literally sat me down after seeing the writing on the wall in my last semi-serious relationship. Six months, longer than my typical girlfriend, and he voiced his concerns. I’d blown off his observations initially, but then he presented a heaping pile of bullshit via her social media. It hurt because I falsely believed her tastefully fed manipulation was love.
Luke always looked out for me. I’d been so blind. My eyes were wide open now, and I saw everything I’d been missing.
That was the heart of it all. I finally had the relationship I’d been seeking, and any perceived threat made me lash out. Emma scared me last night, but I’d been so rude to Luke. Instead of allowing him to handle everything and trust his instinct, I ran.
The nagging fear was that Lucas would decide he no longer wanted a relationship of any sort with me. That deep down, Emma wanted him more and wouldn’t stay. It was nonsense. She loved me. Pressing my fingers into my temples, I rubbed away the building tension. Luke loved me. Apparently for far longer and on a level I’d never realized. I’d explain all of it to Luke after we got back home. I trusted him enough to help us work through it.
Lucas entered the room and his commanding presence filled it. He nodded to the notebook.
“Did you finish your lines?”
“Yes, Sir.” Handing the book to him, I watched him count.
“Good boy,” he praised. Turning his attention to Emma, Luke held his hand out to her. “How about you, darling?”
“Yes, Daddy. I completed it.” She placed her notebook in his palm.
“Good girl.” He grinned down at her.
“Can we watch a movie or something before you go back to the arena? Please?”
“If there’s time. There’s more to your punishments,” Luke said plainly, confirming what I’d already suspected. “Four strikes with my belt.”
Emma twisted a long piece of hair around her finger. “I-I don’t think I can handle a belt, Daddy.”
“Do you know what a safeword is, Emma?”
“Yes, Sir. It’s a word I can say if what you’re doing is too much for me and I need a break. Can mine be ice-skates?”
Luke stroked his beard. “Eh. How about something you don’t say often?”
“Triple Lutz.”
“Something I can remember, babygirl.” He tapped her nose. “Food works the best.”
“Guacamole.”
I couldn’t help it. We were in the middle of a serious conversation, but I laughed so hard I snorted.
“Guacamole,” I repeated.
“What’s so funny?” Emma looked confused. “I hate it! It’s a good choice for a safeword.”
“Lee hates avocados with a passion. That’s his safeword with me. The only thing he hates more is guacamole. It’s perfect.” He chuckled, setting the notebooks down. “Let’s go to the couch.”
His command cut through the laughter. We were definitely not playing anymore. I loathed his belt. I also wasn’t sure how Emma would take to my being punished in front of her. “Are you punishing us together, Sir?”
