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I shift in my chair, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Everything about this is heartbreaking and suffocating, and I make the decision that I will not be coming back.
I hate this.
This isn't going to help me, and my little blue magic pill isn't doing anything for me right now. I need to get the fuck out of here and fast.
The woman beside me is already sobbing before it's even her turn. I hear the sniffles from her and everyone else. A quick look around the room tells me that I'm the only person with dry eyes.
The woman next to me clears her throat, and I glance over at her, taking in her whole appearance for the first time. She's beautiful, with her blonde hair cut into a short bob that brushes the tops of her shoulders, her eyes big and blue. She gives a small smile to each person before she speaks. "My name is Karina, and my baby was born sleeping at thirty-two weeks. Since then, I've had two miscarriages, and now my husband and I are struggling with getting pregnant again. We've done multiple rounds of IUI and IVF, but nothing has been successful. It's been hard. I feel like it's my fault, and month after month that I'm unable to get pregnant, I feel broken." She wipes the tears from her eyes. "I thank you all for welcoming me here tonight. I appreciate being able to share with those who understand." She speaks with an accent I hadn't noticed earlier.
Fuck.Now it's my turn.
All eyes are on me, so I slowly straighten my posture in the chair, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Most people stood when it was their turn for introductions, only three old people had remained seated. I choose to remain seated.
With a deep breath, I open my mouth to speak. "My name is Camille," I say, feeling like I'm in an AA meeting and not a grieving parents’ support group, and all I want to do is laugh hysterically.
I know everyone wants me to react a certain way and share my sadness, so I give them what they want. I am a people pleaser, after all. I look down at my hands in my lap with narrow eyes and finger the hem of my shirt. "A year ago today, my four-year-old son died in a car accident." Saying those words out loud does something to me that I hadn't expected. I'm overwhelmed with emotion and my voice is clogged.
Keep it together, Camille. Don’t cry. I will myself not to show my emotion, but I can already feel the unshed tears stinging my eyes. I clear my throat and stop speaking so I don't completely lose my shit in front of a room full of strangers. I didn't think bringing up Luca would affect me this much.
The blonde woman who introduced herself as Karina reaches over and takes my hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. I look up to meet her sad blue eyes, then slowly pulling my hand away.
Thankfully, Eliza gets the hint that I'm not going to continue speaking and takes over.
I remain silent for the remainder of the meeting, and the second it ends, I'm the first to fold my chair and place it on the rack before hightailing it toward the door. I can't get out of here fast enough.
"Hey! Wait!" the accented voice calls behind me, but I pretend I don't hear anyone and continue walking. "Hey! Camille!" A hand on my shoulder is what finally stops me.
Fuck. So much for getting out of here quickly and unnoticed.
Doing my best to avoid snapping at the woman or showing my annoyance, I turn to face her.
Karina.
"Hi, it is Camille, right?"
"Yes. Karen, right?" Okay, that was rude. I know what her name is.
The blonde woman lets out a little laugh. "Karina. This is going to sound completely bizarre, but would you like to get a cup of coffee? I'm new here and could use a friend." Her British accent is beautifully prominent with each word. "I promise not to rape or murder you," she adds, causing my lips to curl with a genuine smile.
Hmm. She's funny.
"Or drug and kidnap me?" I add, getting an obnoxious laugh from her. Her laughter is so loud that I wonder how something so boisterous can come from her tiny figure. I realize I'm laughing too, but I'm chuckling at her ridiculous laugh, not her words.
"Yes, I promise." She raises her pinky finger to me, so I raise mine and loop it around hers.
"Okay, deal. But if I end up missing, I have people who know I was here," I warn with a grin. She grabs her stomach and leans forward, wiping away invisible tears as she lets out a full belly laugh.
Geez. It wasn't that funny. Dramatic much?
I'm unsure what compelled me to say yes, but there's something about his woman that's inviting.
"Come on, new friend, let's go." She loops her arm around mine, and we both walk across the street toward the Starbucks on the corner.
We order our drinks, then claim a quiet table in the corner.
"So, where are you from?" I ask, sipping my steaming cup of black coffee. I shouldn't drink coffee at night, but I'd rather stay awake than go to sleep in an empty bed and face my nightmares.
"I'm from London. My husband moved us here a month ago,” she says with a sparkle in her sky-blue eyes.
