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"You're not weak for needing help." She chews her bottom lip, avoiding eye contact.
"I have bipolar depression, Dean, and they don’t know. They can’t know. I went off my meds for a couple of days, and my emotions got fucked up, but I'm okay now. Today is the first day back on my meds, and I'll be fine."
I don't believe her, but the vacant look in her eyes tells me that I can't push her any further, or I'll risk losing her completely. “I’m here, Cam. I’m going to take care of you. You have me and can always tell me anything,” I promise, knowing damn good and well I will do whatever I can to breathe life back into her.
She doesn’t respond, only nods and takes a sip from her glass of wine.
After several silent minutes, she opens her mouth and speaks. “I married Declan because I didn’t want my son to have a broken home and have parents that weren’t together. I wanted him to be raised with both parents present. And that’s exactly what he had, and he was the happiest little boy,” she says, looking into my eyes, tears streaming down her perfect heart-shaped face. “I love him, but not like that. He’s my best friend, but the adrenaline and excitement always kept us together. It wasn’t love, not until Luca. And then it became all about our son. We both know our marriage is in trouble, but I can’t leave him. I’m scared of what’ll happen if I do.” I’m shocked by her sudden honesty. She’s being vulnerable and opening herself up to me. I know this is a rare moment.
“Why are you scared, baby? What will he do if you leave him? Has he ever hit you?” I clench my fists, ready to kill the fucker if she says yes.
“No,” she answers quickly. “Declan is only dangerous to himself.” She sighs. “Dec just got out of rehab.”
Rehab?What the fuck. “What the fuck was he in rehab for?”
“Addiction. Drugs. Alcohol. It got bad after our son died. He started chasing a higher high when pills weren’t enough anymore. He started using heroin a year ago, and I couldn’t take it anymore. So, he’s been in rehab for the last three months.” Fuck. This poor woman. Not only was she dealing with the death of her son, but she was also dealing with a drug-addicted husband.
My mom had told me about the accident when it happened. She was distraught when she called me and told me that Camille had been in a car accident. I felt physically ill because I thought she was going to tell me that she had died, but she told me it was her son.
Camille’s four-year-old son, Luca, died on the scene. He’d been thrown from the car, hit his head, and had been bleeding out and was bleeding internally. The poor boy died before the ambulance could get to them. Camille was the only one who walked away unharmed.
I’d called Melanie, Camille’s mom, to check on them, and she said that she had cuts and bruises, but she’d be fine. Declan spent a week in a coma for head trauma. I couldn’t imagine what that week must’ve been like for her. Her son had just died, and she spent a week not knowing if her husband would wake up or die.
“You are such a strong woman, Cam. I truly mean that.” I lean forward and take her free hand in mine, selfishly needing to feel her warmth and be close to her.
Iwantto feel her again. Ineedto feel her again.
“I’ve missed you so much.” Her smile is sad.
No matter what happens, I’ll never stop believing that she’s my destiny. That she and I share the same soul and are meant to be.
Our timing is off, and it seems that it always has been, but I know where her heart is.
Camille belongs with me, and one day, she will be all mine, and nothing can stop that fate.
She and I—we’re inevitable.
“I love you, Cam. You know I always have, and I know we’ll find our way back to each other. I promise you that.” She sets her wine glass down, leans forward, rests her forehead against mine.
"Find a way back to yourself, and then find your way back to me," I whisper. Cupping her face in my hands, I lean in and press my lips against hers.
And suddenly, I am home.
TWENTY-THREE
THEN
Camille,15 years old
Dean found out a few months ago that he'd been accepted to the University of Cambridge, as we all knew he would be. It wasn't a surprise, and don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly proud and so happy for him. But I'm sad for us. I'm sad that we're ending before we even had the chance to begin officially.
Dean's parents want him to go to England a month before school starts, to get familiar with his new scenery, so we're not even getting to spend the entire summer together.
He graduated as valedictorian of his class with a perfect GPA. Not only am I losing Dean, but I'm also losing Spencer. She was accepted to the University of Southern California and will be leaving in two weeks before school starts. We're driving to California as a family to drop her off, and then our parents and I will fly back. We're driving down so she'll be able to have a car with her while she's at school.
Dallas is going to school in Florida, so he and Spencer had a mutual breakup, and she's been crying ever since. They wanted to break up before they left so that they wouldn't make things more complicated by spending the summer together and then breaking up at the last minute.
Dean and I were able to come up with a plan, so I was surprised that she and Dallas couldn’t. Their breakup doesn't make sense, not when I know they belong together and are crazy in love.
