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I'd pressed Spencer for more details, but she kept shushing me, telling me they both agreed to end things.
This is already the most depressing summer ever.
Dean is leaving in two days, and then Spencer will leave after. And I'll be alone. Both of my best friends will be gone. It freakin’ sucks.
However, on the bright side, I don't have to deal with stupid Sadie at school any longer.
"Are you sure you want to sleep over? You can always call me, and I'll pick you up,” my mom says from where she stands at my doorframe. I lied and told her that I'm sleeping over at Fallon's house. There's a party tonight, for which Spencer and Dean have already left. But Dean will leave the party and meet me at the lighthouse, where we plan to spend the entire night together.
"Yes, I'm sure, Mom. Fallon's mom already said it was okay and bought a bunch of snacks. We're going to have a horror movie marathon." I hate lying to my mom, but I can never tell her that I plan to spend the night with Dean, and I plan to give my V-card to him tonight. She'd obviously stop me. Mom is great and loves Dean, but she'd never be okay with her fifteen-year-old daughter having sex. That's why I came up with this plan, and Fallon agreed.
"Okay, sweetie. I'll be downstairs when you're ready for me to drop you off." I nod and finish packing my overnight backpack.
The plan is that I'll be dropped off at Fallon's house, then her sister will take me to the lighthouse before she goes to the party tonight. Their mom works nights, and Fallon is going on a date with Bex, so our plan works perfectly. To make it convincing, Dean even went to the party a couple of hours ago, and his parents removed his curfew since he's now eighteen and has graduated. I'm excited to spend the night with him away from our homes. But I'm also extremely nervous. I'm going to give him a piece of myself I'll never be able to get back.
An hour later, I was dropped off at Fallon's house, and her sister Carla took me to the lighthouse. She even gave me a condom and told me to be safe before she left, laughing uncontrollably.
Now, I'm at the lighthouse staring at the condom in my hand. I know exactly where I want the night to lead. I plan to have Dean inside of me for the first time. He's leaving in two days, and I want him to be my first. We haven’t discussed this, so he's unaware of my plan of seduction, so I can only hope that he's thinking the same thing as I am.
It's not like I'm attached to my virginity or anything, but it wouldn't be special with anyone else as my first. It must be him. I don’t care when I lose it, as long as it is with someone I love. But staring at the condom reminds me just how unprepared I am. I've been on birth control since I was thirteen. Mom put me on it two years ago to help with my periods. I've watched so much porn to prepare myself for tonight, and I shaved every part of my body. My legs are silky, and it's bare between my legs. I wanted to be perfect for Dean.
It would be a lie if I said I wasn't nervous. I've talked to Spencer and Carla previously about their first time, so I think I know what to expect. Dean and I have fooled around enough, which never made me feel uncomfortable. In fact, I've always wanted more with him. But now we'll touch each other while naked, and I'll do something I can never take back.
With a deep sigh, I put the condom in my backpack and grab my phone, sending a quick text to Dean.
Me:I'm here. Waiting for you.
His reply comes back instantly.
Dean:Be there soon.
True to his word,Dean arrived shortly after his text. He must've been speeding because he came quick. I greet him with a hug as soon as he walks through the door.
"How was the party and seeing your friends for the last time?" He shrugs his shoulders, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Everyone was pretty drunk, so I don't think anyone will remember my goodbyes. I'm happier here with you." He always knows the right things to say to make me smile. I wrap my arms around his neck, stand on my tiptoes, and press my lips to his. His kiss sends electric shocks through my body and makes me swoon.
"Do you want to go upstairs?" I nod just as he takes my hand and leads me upstairs. I wonder if both of us have the same thing on our minds.
Does he plan on having sex too? Better yet, is he even a virgin? I've heard so many stories at school, and after the Sadie rumor, I never asked him again if he has slept with anyone else or not. He never brought it up, and neither did I. Now I was too shy to even ask. What if he said no? I wouldn't like that answer. And if he said yes, how would I feel? I'd like to be his first, but what if he doesn't know what to do either? Or worse, what if he's been with other girls and I'm not as good as them?
Oh God, I can't do this.
"What's on your mind?" he whispers against my neck as he trails light kisses over my flesh.
"N-nothing." I sigh.
"You've got something on your mind. You're tense and worried about something." He pulls away from my neck and brushes the hair out of my face. "We don't have to do anything tonight that you're not ready for. Don't feel pressured into anything, baby."
He's never pressured me into doing anything I didn't want to do. I trust him fully. "I want to do this with you. I want you to be my first. I'm just nervous." He nods in understanding, his lips finding mine again. Gently, he leads me toward the bed, and I lay down, his body climbing beside mine.
He's on his side, and I’m on my back. His hand pushes my shirt up to rest on my bare stomach.
"Tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable and don't want to do something." My breathing stills, but his lips crash back to mine and breathe life into me.
His tongue dives into my mouth, and the hand on my stomach is now fumbling with the button on my shorts. I feel everything so deeply. Every sensation from his touch radiates through my body and starts a fire within me. Pleasure courses through my body from his tongue fucking my mouth. His kiss is more heated than ever.
Dean moves so quickly that I don’t notice when he removes my shorts and panties. His index finger strokes over my wet folds, and I gasp when his warm fingers find my clit. The sensation is new to me. Sure, I've pleasured myself many times before, but having his hands on me while bare feels completely different. It feels better.
