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Screwed.
ChapterTwelve
As soon as I enter the bar, I immediately spot Mr. H, it’s hard to miss the sexy as hell silver fox. From where I’m standing, he looks calm, cool, and collected. The complete opposite to me, I’m on edge, jumpy, embarrassed, scared … the list goes on.
Taking a deep breath, I put one foot in front of the other and I make my way over to him. With each step I take, my heart races faster and faster.Is it possible to have a heart attack at twenty-three?
Obviously feeling my presence, he turns to face me and all the air is knocked out of my lungs at how handsome he looks in this light. “Hello, Calliope,” he croons, all proper and Mr. Heatherington-like. He kisses my cheek and holds out the chair next to him for me.
“Hi, Mr. Heatherington,” I murmur as I take a seat, nervous and unsure of what to say or do. I’ve never before been in the situation where my dad’s best friend was the next client I was to give a strip tease/lap dance to.
“I think you can call me Kane now … especially after tonight.”
My head snaps up and over toward him. “How … how are you so okay with this?”
He laughs and for some unknown reason, that chuckle puts me at ease. He’s running his fingers through his beard like he does when he’s anxious. “Sunshine, I’m far from okay right now. I’m the complete opposite of that but at the same time I’m …” He drifts off, leaving me hanging.
“You’re what?”
“Thinking things I shouldn’t be thinking.” He stares at me as he says this, his gaze heated. Something I have never seen directed at me before, and then I process his words. My eyes pop open in shock when what he just said hits me—he’s been thinking about me how I’ve been thinking about him.
“Ohh,” I utter.
“Yeah, ohh,” he says with a nod. “If you were any other woman, I would have let happen what was meant to happen, but your dad is my best friend. I can’t be wanting those things from you.”
“Ohh,” I dejectedly reply, looking down at my lap again. Swallowing back the lump building in my throat, I close my eyes but the first tear falls and splatters on my hand, much like my heart is right now.
“Sunshine, no,” he protests, “please don’t cry.” He reaches over and cups my cheek, brushing away the falling droplets. Lifting my gaze toward him, we stare at one another as I silently cry. The air around us thickening and pinging with electricity. The tears continue to fall as we watch each other. “This is so messed up,” he finally says.
“Just another messed-up thing in my life,” I tearfully reply.
His thumb brushes away another stray tear. “Wanna tell me what happened? How you ended up there?”
“How long you got?”
“For you? As long as you need me.”
Can this man be any more perfect? His words mean everything to me and they cause the floodgates to open farther. I’m now sobbing uncontrollably. Mr. H pulls me into his arms and whispers sweet nothings to me as I break down in his embrace in the middle of the bar. I’m a tear-stained snot monster at the moment and now that the tears are flowing, I can’t stop them.
Finally, they stop falling but I don’t pull away. I like being held like this. Mr. H’s hand gently runs up and down my back. Reluctantly, I pull away and wipe under my eyes. Noticing my wine, I pick up the glass of red and take a sip, the fruity liquid calming my nerves slightly. “Thank you,” I finally whisper.
“Why are you thanking me?”
“For letting me breakdown like that. The last few years have been so freakin’ hard.”
“How so?” he questions, but I ignore him. I take another sip that turns into a gulp and before long, the glass is empty. “Please, Sunshine, talk to me. What happened that you needed to turn to stripping? We all thought everything here in New York was good.”
Running the tip of my finger around the rim of the glass, I stare into the emptiness and it hits me. Just like this glass, I’m empty—emotionally, physically, and mentally. Even though I’m bringing in the big bucks, I’m empty inside. No longer do I have any joy in my life. I’m not doing what I want to be doing. I mean, who grows up and says, “Mom. Dad. I’m gonna be a stripper when I grow up?” No one does that, well maybe Miss Rhi, she was born for this.
I’m snapped away from my wallowing when I feel a hand on my arm. His touch is electric, it brings me to life and I feel like the old Calliope, the Calliope who had a future and a plan. Turning my head toward him, I see nothing but concern etched on his face. “I’m fine—” He gives me ‘that’ look that says, ‘I’m not stupid’ and he waits. “Okay, fine. Fine probably isn’t the best word to describe my life right now.”
“Ya think?” he sasses.
“I don’t think, I know. Life here got expensive and hard, and I didn’t want to let anyone down. So I did what I had to do to survive. And then I graduated. I thought things would turn around after that, but I haven’t had any luck landing my dream job, or any marketing job for that matter.”
“Okay, I get that, but stripping?”
“I had no choice,” I snap at him. “It was either that or admit I was a failure, and I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t let everyone back home down. My roommate got me the job there. She was raking it in and paying off her debt while studying and living life to the fullest. I wanted my life back, so I gave it a go. Turns out, I’m pretty good at it and it’s fun. I juggled that part-time and my studies for the last year of my degree. When I couldn’t find a marketing position, I went full-time.”
