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He cups my face in both hands. “Kiss you.”
The thought of Jax’s lips on mine triggers arousal in my exhausted body as my heart rate picks up. The last couple of days, I’ve imagined what would happen the first time I kissed Jax, because there always was going to be a first time. I pictured the sexual tension flooding out and into a slammed-against-a-wall, breath-snatching moment that would be over as quickly as it began. So when Jax gently presses his lips to mine for just seconds before withdrawing, I’m as stunned as if he had kissed me until I was breathless.
Jax’s face remains close, his breath against my lips, hands remaining on my cheeks. Waiting. This time, there’s no challenge. I tip my head and meet his mouth curling a hand around his neck to pull him closer. Jax circles an arm around my waist and holds me as his lips press harder against mine. The warm pressure of his mouth moves from tentative to firm as I eagerly respond, pressing myself into him. Jax’s grip on my waist tightens and he slides his hand into my hair. Mouth harder against mine, Jax parts my lips with his tongue, exploring as I push my tongue against his.
Jax’s hands don’t wander but hold me tightly, as if I might fall if he lets go. I crave his touch, to slide my hands against his skin, and my body tingles at the thought. My arousal at just one kiss shocks me. I always knew there was something about Jax my body craved, but not that I’d be prepared to yield to him so easily.
Maybe it’s a good thing I have a sandwich in one hand.
Jax pulls away slowly, as if he doesn’t want to take his lips from mine and releases my waist. We could kiss again, our lips close enough that they still feel connected, and I’m tempted. I don’t want Jax to let me go. I long for him to stay here and kiss me more, but common sense tells me that’s not a great idea. He moves away and rubs his lips together, eyes darkened with a desire matching mine.
“I’m glad this didn’t happen last night. I’d hate to forget a kiss like that,” I say.
“First kisses are always memorable.” He strokes my hair. “Or is that the first and last? Do we call it quits now and become friends?”
“You really think that’s possible?”
“No.”
He’s right. There’s no way I can walk away from somebody who shifted my world sideways merely from his lips on mine. I place a hand on the wall, and ground myself again.
Jax points at the sandwich. “Surprised you didn’t drop that.”
“Oh. I’d forgotten.”
Jax laughs. “Is that the effect I have on you?”
“I don’t think you need me to answer that question.” My empty stomach reminds me his kiss isn’t the only reason for my light-headedness. “I should eat.”
“You should. Come and sit with me.” He indicates the direction we came from.
We walk back to the restaurant, side by side, and Jax wraps his little finger around mine in a cute gesture that shouldn’t be a surprise after his treatment of me so far today. As I sit and eat my sandwich, Jax watches.
“You’re pretty damn awesome, Tegan Hughes.” He takes a drink from his beer and adds, “And I think I’m heading for trouble.”
“From Bryn?”
Jax wipes a crumb from the corner of my mouth. “From both of you.”
15
TEGAN
The following day, I avoid Bryn’s scrutiny and take a bus into the city. I toyed with the idea of visiting museums but a Spanish friend I met in Indonesia recommended I visit Parque del Buen Retiro if I ever found myself in Madrid. Fresh air and peace appeals more than the indoors today, so I head to the Parque.
Following a couple of hours wandering through the trees, nodding hello to fellow visitors, I sit on the stone beneath the monumental lions close to the lake. Boaters cross the dark blue water, their voices and laughter carrying across the quiet surrounds. I could’ve lost myself in the oasis of calm for hours, amongst the history and beauty that’s a welcome change from the weird world of rock bands and tours. But the craziness from two nights ago encroached on my thoughts and for the first time in weeks, in the midst of the winter sunshine and the tourists sharing my day, I suddenly felt disconnected and alone. Sure, I travelled on my own last year but I always met up with new people to share experiences.
The night of the party shook me more than I'm willing to admit. Sometimes emptying your mind of everything allows thoughts in you don’t want.
I head back to the hotel to update my blog and check out my friends’ lives on social media. My Instagram following has skyrocketed since I posted a candid picture of Blue Phoenix rehearsing in Lisbon, my feed filled with comments demanding more behind the scenes pictures and gossip. A picture of Jax I took on my phone when he was on stage the same night has a lot of shares, and pleas from fans for other shots. When I read the comments about Jax, including what more than a few people want to do with him, I smile to myself. If only they knew the guy had kissed me.
I itch to tell my friend Phoebe about the kiss. We’ve shared all our secrets since high school, but what if the kiss yesterday was all that happens? Jax could change his mind and decide anything apart from a friendship would be too complicated to deal with. How embarrassing if I spilled to Phoebe about Jax when he isn’t really interested. I'd look like an idiot. So, no, I’ll wait and see what happens.
Jax and I’ve exchanged several playful texts since yesterday afternoon but haven’t seen each other today. Jax’s busy with preparations for the concert tonight and I’m spending some time as a tourist. We’ve arranged to meet after the gig, so I hope Bryn isn’t back to breathing down my neck. Maybe we can sneak away to a local restaurant and from any madness that could ensue. Somehow, I don't think an evening with Jax will be an ordinary first date.
* * *
JAX
