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DAWN 10
“Are you sure he’s in there with them?” Siena nods at my question. All the girls have got together this morning to paint the kitchen, I know no matter how many times they say that they were thinking of repainting the kitchen they are only doing it now because of my clumsiness. Onyx slides her hand around my waist pulling me close into her.
“Don’t be so glum sweetie, he will come and see you.” She thinks that I am glum because of Gunner, well that is true, but I am also feeling guilty for giving everyone so much work.
“I know he is, but I was actually thinking how I have been messing everything up. You know, if it wasn’t for me, we wouldn’t all be here painting the kitchen on such a nice day outside.” Dakota glances over her shoulder from where she’s standing up on the ladder a dab of paint on her cheek.
“Don’t be silly Dawn, we have all been fighting to try and make changes to the club, but King doesn’t like changes. You didn’t give him an option.” Dakota says with a smile
“Maybe we should get Dawn to go in and destroy first what we want to change,” Siena says with a grin, “like that King can’t refuse our plans.” I know that the women are trying to lift my mood but knowing that everyone thinks I’m this big kluts saddens me. I thought that coming here no one would see me as a wild, clumsy girl but already everyone thinks that I am. I try, but no matter how much I try I somehow land up doing something wrong.
Looking at the women around me I am a little envious, all of them are regal in their own way. They are all beautiful with sexy bodies and great personalities. If someone comes into the room, they will completely oversee me until I do something wrong. Dakota is the perfect mate for Hunter, the two of them sway to each other’s rhythm. Dash and Alaska are like thunder and lightning, enhancing each other in every way.
Then there is Blue and Siena, they are like silence and sound, both can’t be without the other. Fang and Mystique are strength and gentleness, everything about Fang is about strength, about conquering. Siena is delicate in everything she does, she seems to flow with her movements. Her gentleness softens Fangs pain, while his strength enhances her internal force.
Onyx and Hawk are intelligence and strategy, I have never met someone as intelligent as Onyx, her mind is phenomenal but when Hawk and she are together they are like a powerhouse. Hawk’s strategizing and Onyx input makes them infallible. When I look at myself and Gunner, I don’t see any of the greatness that I see in the other couples.
I know that Gunner is known for his strength, his self-control but when you look at me, I have nothing like that. I know that Gunner hasn’t come to speak to me since he brought me home because of me disobeying him and nearly getting myself killed. I know that I’m not a dream catch, if anything I can be quite a handful if I am to believe my father. I have tried to be more like my twin, tried to be responsible and quiet.
Unfortunately, I have never been able to do it for more than a couple of hours. I want to be with Gunner, I want to be his mate. The problem is that he doesn’t want me, and no matter how much I fight myself I can’t stop thinking about him, I can’t take him out of my mind. The minute I close my eyes a vision of him is before me.
I can hear the woman talking among themselves, but my mind is too occupied to listen to the conversation. I am in desperate need of air, I just want to walk outside and run wild. The air flowing through my hair, over my skin as I run. Maybe I should go back home, it is evident that I am being a burden to everyone here and my mate doesn’t want me.
The weight on my heart has tears filling my eyes, I don’t want to leave this dream of having Gunner as my mate. The last couple of days have had me building a dream of the two of us together and each day that has passed without Gunner seeing me has had that dream falling apart, little by little.
Today he has finally come back to the club, but instead of coming to see how I am he has gone and locked himself away with the other men. I know that I shouldn’t have left that cottage, I know that I should have listened to him but if I had he might be dead right now. I interrupted the man from finishing what he had started.
I asked the men if I could help to find the man that tried to kidnap me, but they have all refused to give me a straight answer. I know that I wasn’t able to give them much to go on, but I’m sure if I see that asshole again, I will recognise something about him. I also want the chance to try and help them to catch him so that Gunner can see that I am not a looser, but the way things are going I don’t think that they are going to let me help.
If I knew the area as well as I know back home, I would have gone out on my own already and tried to find this creep. Unfortunately, since everything happened that the men have increased the security around the club. We are not allowed to go anywhere unless we are accompanied by one of the men. “Earth calling Dawn!” I turn my head looking over at Mystique as she waves her hand before me.
“Sorry, I was distracted.” I say with a smile hiding the deep pain that is filing my soul. All I have ever wanted was to be accepted, to be loved for the person that I am. I know that I can be difficult sometimes, but I believe that I have a lot of other good qualities. Unfortunately, it seems that people only see the bad when it comes to me.
“Why don’t we all take a break and have a cup of coffee?” Dakota says from where she is standing by the kettle, “I know I could do with one.”
I nod in agreement but sitting around talking seems even more depressing. I’m sounding ungrateful, and to be fair all everyone has ever done here is to try and make me feel at home. The women have been amazing and friendly, the men didn’t even blink with what happened to the kitchen, but I think that the reason why I’m feeling so down is because Gunner has made no effort to see me. I know that the mating call is very strong within us, but even like that Gunner has stayed away.
I had decided that I was going to fight for our mating, but with each day that passes that fight has started to quieten as I can’t fight for something when he isn’t even there. My wish for his present is so strong that I swear I can even smell his scent. “Flame” his deep voice so close to me has me gasping as I jump in surprise snapping around.
My mind was so busy that I didn’t even realize that the women had grown quiet. “Gunner?” my voice comes out in squeak of surprise; my hands are trembling as I bring one up to my chest to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest.
His light blue eyes are boring right into my soul as he gazes at me, every nerve in my body is at attention. My body responds to his nearness like it never has to anyone else. His light brown hair is windswept and his tanned skin enhancing his handsomeness. “You surprised me,” I accuse when it doesn’t seem like he is going to say anything else.
He shrugs his eyes still boring into me, “How are you feeling?” his question has my brows raising in surprise.
“Why?” I ask
“What do you mean why?”
“It has been a week, if you were concerned about how I was feeling you would have come to see me earlier.” I know that I should have kept my mouth shut and just made small talk, but how can I bite my tongue when it’s true. Why would he make as if he cares how I have been when he hasn’t made any effort to see if I’m okay.
“I didn’t come to see you, but I knew exactly how you were progressing.” His statement has my ire dying a sudden death. Did he ask about me? Does Gunner actually care about me or is he just doing what is expected of him.
“Then you know how I am.” I mutter and am once again surprised as his hand shoots up and he is grabbing my chin with his index finger and thumb turning my head up to his so that our eyes are once again looking at each other.
“I want to hear it from you.” He insists, I try to pull my head back, but he tightens his hold keeping me in place.
“I’m fine, my arm is still slightly sore with certain movements but besides that I’m feeling good.” He nods at my reply his eyes breaking their hold as they glance over my body in a slow appraisal. “The others tell me that you want to help us find the fucker that took you.” His statement has my attention coming back to his words instead of the fascination with his lips that I was in.
