Chapter 9
“I’m sorry, Niall.” I tugged at the sleeve of my jacket. “I didn’t mean to be so late. Kaden and I had some talking and catching up to do.”
“And more,” he grumbled.
I narrowed my eyes. “Yes, more. Do you have a problem with that?”
His knee bounced under the table. “Yes. I do.”
He jumped up and faced me.
“Seriously?” I shot back.
His ice-blue eyes flashed with something haunted. I took a step back.
“The new guy, Saige?”
“I can’t believe you honestly care about who I kiss.”
He ran his hands through his raven hair and pulled. “Don’t you feel it?”
I shook my head, but he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were pinched closed.
“Feel what?”
“The strain? The pull? It’s driving me insane.”
The strain? Toward him?
Sure, I felt it toward Kaden, but I knew him. I felt it tug me toward Theo and Sai, but we’d been friends first, and my attraction grew from that. Niall? He’s been as much my villain as my hero.
“So I should kiss you because you want me to?”
He dropped his hands with a sigh that pulled his shoulders down like the weight he’d been carrying was close to breaking him.
“No, I want you to want to be around me. I want you to want me. Not just physically, but in any way. I want you to choose me. I don’t want this to be something you feel forced into.”
I let out a breathy laugh. “It’s too late for that.”
He shook his head. “I can’t do this. Live here. Be around you, knowing you don’t want me here.”
“I didn’t say that.” I straightened. “Don’t you dare put words in my mouth.”
“Be honest. If you could pick any four people, would I be on that list? Would I be in the top ten? Fifty? Would Sai? Would Theo? Would the hawk that lied to you for years?”
He wasn’t entirely wrong. I would have picked Sai and Theo. I hadn’t known about Kaden, so that wasn’t likely. But he didn’t know I’d been torn before I knew about the bond.
Would he believe me?
“I had feelings for you before I knew anything about the bond or my mark.” I hurried the words out before I could lose my nerve or he could retreat.
He didn’t move. Didn’t even breathe.
“I was so confused. I didn’t know what to do. I told Hannah about it because I didn’t understand why I felt something for you, and Sai, and Theo. I thought I had to pick one of you, and I didn’t know how. She told me poly relationships are popular with supernaturals, but I was so scared.”
His brows creased. “Scared of what? Me?”
“No, of admitting how I felt. You and I are witches, at least publicly, but with Sai and Theo, things were complicated. We both lost our parents because we were born. I was terrified of putting any of you in danger. I didn’t want to draw attention to us. I didn’t want to bring the same fate down on us.”