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He swallowed, and I watched the muscles move down his throat.
“I admitted all of this to Sai, but we never spoke about it again. Look where we are now. In the exact position I wanted to save us from.”
“Sai knew?”
Why was he skipping over the important details?
“Yeah.”
“So you feel comfortable talking to him? About stuff like that?”
I dropped my eyes. “He was in his tiger form. It’s easier for me to talk to him like that.”
“Well, I’m glad you have him and Kaden to talk to.”
I peered up at him, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I know that will never be me.”
I pointed between us. “What is this?”
“Me dragging the truth out of you.” He leaned back against the table with his arms crossed.
Why did he always have to be so damned difficult?
“What do you honestly expect from me? You’ve been nothing but hot and cold toward me since the very first day we met. Actually, it’s been like ninety percent cold. You think now that we’re bonded, poof, everything’s different? You have my full trust, and I’m going to fling myself on you the second I have a chance?”
Flashes of his abs and toned body flashed through my mind, but that wasn’t the point.
His face hardened. “Can you stop thinking about yourself for five seconds to consider that you’re not the only one having to adjust? That you aren’t the only one who had their world flipped inside out and upside down? I’m having to change who I am as well.”
He might as well have slapped me across the face. I was so stunned. Not by how angry he was, but by the truth in his words.
I hadn’t stopped to think about how the guys were handling all of this. I assumed since they knew about the bond marks, they knew what to expect and were fine with it.
Obviously not.
He let out a low, humorless laugh. “Of course, you haven’t. You’re the only one with a tragic backstory. You’re the only one who’s had a hard time. You’re the center of the universe, and we live to fit into whatever tiny space you’ve carved out for us.”
“Stop it.”
He didn’t hear me.
“I lost everyone too. I lost my parents. My brother. My uncle. I’ve had to live a lie my whole life too. And I didn’t have a hawk to keep me company. I didn’t have friends to shoulder the burden with me. I had no one to lean on when I struggled. A dozen people didn’t appear the second I needed help. I was on my own.” He stepped toward me. “But I survived. I built up walls to protect myself, just like you. I learned to keep a distance so I couldn’t get hurt again. I focused on myself because I was all I had.”
He was breathing hard, but I didn’t know what to say.
“Niall.”
He held up his hand. “This is new for me too. I’ve been doing my best, which might not seem like much to you, but it’s all I’ve got for now. I need you to see that and meet me halfway.”
I nodded. My words were gone. Nothing I could say was enough. He ripped his chest open and poured his heart out in front of me. What could I say?
He probably wouldn’t believe me anyway.
I stepped toward him and watched for a flinch—anything to show me how he felt. He didn’t move. Not toward me, but he didn’t pull back either. I took that as a good sign and took another step, then another until I was standing in front of him, inches separating us.
Energy, like electricity, passed between us, and I knew he felt it too when he jumped the second my fingers touched his skin.
