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Thoughts of kissing Kaden came into my mind, but I immediately pushed them away before Niall could tell what I was thinking. This wasn’t the moment for us. Not just hours after.
No.
Niall needed what he gave me last night. Comfort. A sense of calm and peace. Of home.
Of belonging.
He told me he wasn’t ready for anything physical, so starting slow was the best thing to do.
I slid my hands up his arms and wrapped them around his neck as I rose to my toes. I didn’t look at him, just rested my head against his shoulder and held him. It took several excruciatingly long and awkward moments for him to react.
His arms slipped around my waist, and he drew me in closer until our bodies were pressed together.
Don’t think about that. Don’t think about how good it felt to finally touch him. Don’t think about how long you’ve wanted this. Don’t think about—
“Saige, telling yourself not to think about something doesn’t actually work.”
Shit.
He chuckled, an actual laugh, and I clung tighter to him and squeezed my eyes shut.
“I don’t want you to pull away from me,” I finally whispered.
His grip tightened, and one of his hands drifted up until he was cradling the back of my head in his palm. There was so much tenderness in the movement I nearly melted.
“I’ll try.”
It wasn’t a promise or a guarantee, but it was the best he could do. It was all I could ask for.
“Saige?” Sai’s voice reached us, and before we had a chance to react, he stuttered, “Oh. Ah. Sor––. Never mind.”
I pulled away from Niall and gave him a smile he actually returned. “I’m going to see what he needs. Then can you help me with my mental shield?”
“Sure.” He pulled out the chair and returned to his work, and I hurried down the stairs.
“Sai?” I didn’t see him at first, but he popped up from behind the kitchen bar.
“Oh, hey.” He tried and failed to sound casual. This was too awkward for him. We didn’t clam up like this with each other.
“What’s going on?”
“I was wondering if you’d eaten already. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He kept his eyes on the counter in front of him.
Was it really so strange to see me hug Niall? It didn’t seem like that big of a deal. If he had a problem with that, how would he handle finding out about me kissing Kaden?
“Sai, it’s fine. I mean, it’s fine with me, but it doesn’t seem like it is with you.” I pulled out one of the stools and sat on it. “Did that bother you?”
He straightened and leaned back with his hands behind him on the counter. “I think it was more of a shock than anything.”
“Seeing me hug him?”
“I guess? I mean yeah. It’s weird seeing you and him like that.”
“I need you to be more specific, so I understand.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”
“Me either, but we do need to talk this through. We’re all living together, and we need to know each other’s boundaries. If you don’t want to see me hugging anyone else, then I need to be aware of that.”
