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He dropped his head and licked from the top of my shirt and up the column of my neck, forcing out a moan. I closed my eyes. His lips found mine again, and as he let his full weight on me, I felt his desire press against my thigh.
I was immediately grateful I wasn’t a Fire witch because I was certain the bed would have erupted in flames at that moment.
I felt a guy’s arousal before during an unfortunate make-out session at a party with my friends during junior year. It had done nothing but make me uncomfortable.
This experience was nothing like that.
Feeling his want fueled my own. I needed more. I wanted to be closer. While clinging to his back, and never breaking contact with his lips, I tried to shift my hips. I wanted––no needed––him a few inches over.
“Saige,” he growled and rested his forehead against mine, stopping all movement.
“What?” I panted.
“We’re taking this slow,” he reminded me in a strained voice. It didn’t sound like he wanted to stop and neither did I, so why were we?
“We don’t have to,” I reached out, trying to pull me back down to me.
He smiled as he resisted me. “I don’t want to do anything we’ll regret. It’s okay to take our time.”
“Regret? You’re my bonded pair.” Mate. Whatever. “We’re married. We’re not going anywhere.”
“Exactly, we’re not going anywhere. We can wait.”
“But I don’t want to,” I whined.
He kissed my cheeks, then once more on my lips. “Not tonight, jagiya.”
I narrowed my eyes, “What does that mean?”
The affection in his eyes told me the unknown word was an endearment. He’d never spoken Korean to me before.
“I’ll tell you one day.” With that, he pulled back and climbed off the bed while I stared at him in shock.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Was it?At the door, he pulled on his shirt and smiled at me. “Tell you what. If in ten minutes, you still feel like you want to and you’re ready, text me, and I’ll come back.”
I shook my head. What was going to change between now and then?
“Night.” He slipped out and closed the door behind him.
I stared at the door, waiting for him to come back in laughing and telling me it was all a joke. When a full minute passed, I cast a spell to lock the door, which worked to my surprise, and fell back to stare at the ceiling.
What was wrong with me? Was my inexperience that much of a turnoff? I couldn’t learn if I didn’t have a chance.
The sensations of Theo’s touch still sizzled on my skin. I missed his kisses. The weight of him. The bubble we created where we were the only two people in the world. Us together. It was all that mattered.
I touched my neck where he focused his attention and wondered if it would leave a mark. Would the guys notice? Would they care?
Doubt filled me, and I rolled to my side, curling up and hugging my knees to my chest. Kaden kissed me before the curse, but he hadn’t come near me since I got back.
This was ridiculous. I shouldn’t feel so uncertain and confused. They each expressed their interest in me. I was the one that told them I wanted to take things slowly, but wasn’t I allowed to change my mind?
If not now, then when? How much time had to pass for them to believe I was ready?
Was I?
There was a big difference between cuddling, kissing, or even sleeping together and having sex. On one hand, we were bonded. We weren’t going anywhere. The guys were as committed to me as I was to them.
But that meant that they didn’t have a choice in the matter either. None of us did. Maybe Niall wasn’t ready for anything physical because he wasn’t interested in me that way.
What if I was ready to go there with Theo, but not Kaden or Sai? How would that affect things in the apartment?
Did I need to wait until I was ready to sleep with all of them? Did things have to be even all the time? That didn’t feel natural. Things would progress with them individually. Taking a step with one didn’t mean I had to run to the rest to get them all caught up.
No. That was weird and forced.
Damn him.
I spread out and accepted Theo was right. We had time. It had probably been ten minutes, and I knew this was the right thing. I might think I’m ready to move forward with him, but I had to figure out things with the rest of the guys. I was too confused. Too desperate to feel accepted to make a clear decision.
I couldn't afford to make a mistake that ruined the delicate balance we were trying to establish—no matter what my heart thought it wanted.
