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“Luna, when can I come back?” he asks again. I hadn’t meant to dodge his question but I guess I wanted to buy myself some time.
“Come back tomorrow, after work if you can.”
“My work or yours?” He chuckles. I guess he was back to working nightshifts.
“Mine, I definitely won’t be awake if you’re working nights. I should be home by five.” I start walking toward the door.
Cody follows suit and looks down at my swollen stomach. His hand extended as if wanting to touch it but then shakes his head, thinking better of it. It’s something that makes the tears return but I stop them before they fall. I can’t put to words how much it hurts to have someone you love at arms length.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gives me a half smile and heads out my front door.
I retreat immediately to my bedroom, desperate to rip this dress off. It is beautiful but I am too exhausted to be made up anymore. I look at his t-shirt on my bed and consider wearing it, but instead I hide it in my nightstand. Just in case he is to come in, I don’t want him to think it is more than it is. I don’t know what he wants to talk about but maybe he’ll want to see where I plan on raising the baby. The nursery isn’t done yet but I still have plenty of time. At least I hope so.
I place a hand on my bare stomach, just as she kicks me lightly. I grab an extra large t-shirt and lay in my bed. Which prompts the baby to kick like she’s trying out for a sport. I place a hand on my stomach and she kicks even harder, as if to say to touch me. Chuckling, I move my hand around gently as she continues kicking away. I close my eyes, willing her to fall asleep but instead falling asleep to the swift kicks to my abdomen.
What feels like hours later, I hear incessant knocking on my door. Except it’s on my bedroom door instead of my front door. Had someone broke in? No, they wouldn’t knock if they were trying to rob me. I’m half asleep and I can’t think straight as I try to think of who would be here at, I glance at the clock, eight pm? Damn this pregnancy had me going to bed earlier and earlier.
“Luna? Are you in there?”
“Riley?” I ask, recognizing the voice.
“Luna.” Riley opens the door and runs in, climbing into bed with me.
“What’s going on?” I see the running mascara and realize she had been crying.
“It’s Sawyer, she sort of kicked me out.” Riley sobs into my chest, and I hold her as close as I can with the bump between us.
“She what?” I ask, shocked. “Why?”
“Well, because I hid the pregnancy from her for so long,” Riley admits. So this is my fault. I knew I shouldn’t have asked her to keep a secret for so long.
“I’m so sorry.”
“She said she can’t live with someone who’s so comfortable with lying. I admitted I knew for a long time and she understands why you didn’t tell her but she said I should have told her. She said she wouldn’t have told Cody if you had a good reason. I told her you did but she was still upset and said with her sobriety she needs to have complete honesty and only people she trusts around her. So right now she doesn’t trust me,” Riley rambles as she cries. Between each word there’s a sniffle or some tears, but I know what she is saying.This is all my fault.
“Ri,” I start, but I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry I ruined your life?
“It’s okay, L, that’s not why I’m here. I just need somewhere to stay. Just until I figure things out.” I notice the bag by the door now.
“Of course.” I don’t have the guest bed anymore but she can stay in my bed for all I care. I won’t let my best friend have no where to stay.
“Thank you.” She wipes her face and smiles.
“Why don’t you get cleaned up and we can order some food?” I suggest.
“I don’t feel like eating, but I can use a shower.”
“Okay, I’l make you something just in case you change your mind.” I get out of bed and she heads to the bathroom, moving her bag on the way. Which I’m grateful for because these days it’s getting harder to see my feet, let alone pick things up off the floor.
I head to the kitchen and grab the ingredients for pancakes. Despite it being nighttime, I know the way to put a smile on Riley’s face is to give her some breakfast for dinner and put on one of her favorite movies. I’ll leave it up to her since I don’t know which one she is in the mood for. Maybe she won’t eat anything but at least she’ll have the option. I hate not being able to do anything, especially when it is all my fault. If only I had told Cody earlier, told him myself, or let Riley tell Sawyer when she asked. Maybe she’s right, she could’ve kept a secret, but I didn’t want to risk it at the time. Now that seems stupid, was I really going to hide it from him for the rest of my life? For the rest of the baby’s life?
Chapter Twenty-Four
In the morning Riley stays in bed and I consider calling Molly and telling her I won’t be in but I don’t. We are already struggling to find new clients, she doesn’t need me calling out on the ones we do have. She’s been a Godsend lately, making sure all the bills are paid and the lights stay on, literally. She is due to take the bar over the summer, but I have no doubt she’ll pass and we can run the firm together. It is obvious she is going to be an amazing lawyer.
Riley lets me know she’s staying for the day but she’ll be gone before I get home. Cody and I need to talk alone about everything. Not that I even know what we are going to talk about, or what I am going to say. What do you talk about to the man you still kinda love and are having a baby with?
“Are you okay?” Molly asks as I look over the files she hands me.
