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Joel runs his hand over my hair.
“Rae Rae, I know this is all kinds of messed up, but…”
“Yeah?”
“Hearing where he was coming from—I don’t think you understand his perspective at all. What was going through his head.”
I shake my head. “You’re right, I don’t. Maybe he should’ve told me.”
“Did you let him?”
I stare at him for a moment. “He should’ve told mebeforehe did anything else.”
He nods. “Probably. But let’s face it, everything between you has been building foryears. Are you really surprised it exploded?”
“I guess not. I wish I could understand. How did it end up like this?”
“Only the two of you can answer that. I’m not saying tonight, but you need to talk to him.”
“What if he crushes me again?”
Joel looks at me, eyes serious. “What if he doesn’t?”
I sigh. “Thanks for having my back.”
“Always,” he says with a smirk, holding out his fist. “The OGs.”
I smile and bump my fist with his. “The OGs,” I whisper.
He hangs out for a while until I’m practically asleep and only agrees to go home when I insist I really do need some time completely alone. Because I do. And because I’m so tired, I can’t think straight.
It’s almost one before I slide into bed, finally alone, and quickly fall asleep.
Aaron
Five-thirty in the morning. I haven’t slept at all. That’s not true. I have. But it was shitty and didn’t last for more than twenty minutes at a time.
She’s all I can think about.
My stomach is in knots. She’s my best friend. So much more than that. I love her with everything inside me. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was trying to make sure I wasn’t going too fast. She was hurt by my reactions, and I understand why. But she hurt me too. Because she didn’t listen, didn’t trust me, and walked away.
I can’t take this anymore.
I launch out of bed and pull on my sweats.
The words Joel said before I left ring in my ears.
“I know it’s hard for you, but give her a day or two. Let her calm down. Give her space.”
Screw it. I can’t give her space. I can’t let this fester.I can’t lose her.
The walk to her house feels agonizingly slow.
When I get to the back deck, I pause by the window.
Who knows if she’ll even let me in?
With a deep breath, I knock lightly on the window. I’m holding my breath as I wait, but a second later, her light flicks on and the window slides up slightly.
