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“Oh, he knows. To answer your question, he’s doing shitty.”
“Good.”
Miles chuckles. “I’m not here to defend him, but as your friend, I truly believe he is sorry and never wanted to hurt you.”
I nod slightly. “I love you, Miles.”
“Back at ya, kid.” He grabs his grilled cheese, then gestures toward the TV. “So,Burn Notice?”
“Feels appropriate. Hey, thanks for stopping the fistfight, by the way.”
“You’re welcome. I wasn’t going to let them throw away their friendship because of something between you and A.” He shakes his head. “Joel was pretty mad, but I reminded him he isn’t justyourbest friend. They drank spiked hot chocolate and made up.”
I laugh a little. “Nice job, Dad.”
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Question is, what are you gonna do?”
I sigh and shrug. “Figure out what happens next. Not sure exactly how, but I will. It won’t be easy, though.”
“Ma always says that nothing worth it is ever easy.” With those words, he sets his grilled cheese down and turns so he can look at me. “You know, you’re pretty badass, Rae McKinley. You’ve been through a lot, and you know your worth. It’s good that you stand up for yourself. Just don’t forget what Aaron and your relationship are worth.”
I take in the seriousness in his eyes and nod lightly.
“Noted.”
He picks his grilled cheese back up and touches it to mine, then we both lean back, eating and watching TV in a comfortable silence.
Tonight won’t end. I’ve tried multiple times to go to sleep, but I can’t. How is it possible that this morning I thought I’d end the night in Aaron’s arms?
My phone goes off and I groan. Though I hesitate to look at it, when I see Joel’s name on the screen, I answer.
“Hey,” I say, my voice giving away my exhaustion.
Joel lets out a long, slow exhale. “He just left.”
I bite at my lip. “Do you think he’s coming here?”
“I told him not to. I told him you need space. That he needs to respect that.”
“Think he will?”
“I hope so.”
He’s quiet for a moment.
“Joel…”
“Two minutes,” he tells me and hangs up.
And two minutes later he’s climbing in my window and holding me tightly. I didn’t realize how badly I needed a hug from him. I let him hold me for a few minutes as I relax in his arms.
Eventually, we sit down on my bed.
“Tell me,” I say.
“He’s hurting,” Joel says. “He spent half the day crying. Made me feel extra shitty for punching him.”
I lo—ok over at him. “You are my OG best friend. I love you for having my back. And with anyone else, I’d be giving you a resoundingfuck yes, butheis your best friend, too. And however he might fuck up with me… he needs you, too,” I sniffle. “Especially when he doesn’t have me.”
