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I don’t know exactly what’s stopping me from talking to Rae about it. Part of me thinks it’s not worth talking about, like it’s my own shit to figure out. And what if she doesn’t understand? Or sees me differently? I’ve always been the strong one. I like being that way—being her safe place and her protector. Right now I feel weak, and I don’t want anyone to see that, especially her. I already feel like a pathetic version of myself, anyway. Letting her see the worst part of me when she has it all together would make me feel like… I don’t deserve her.
When she walks out of my room, yawning, with messy hair, I forget about it all. She’s so fucking cute in the morning I can’t stand it. I smile at her like an idiot. “Morning, Beautiful. Want some coffee?”
I’m turning toward the pot when she shakes her head at me. She walks over and wraps her arms around me. “Mm. This first.”
I hold her tightly to me. “What’s this for?”
“I just wanted a good hug,” she says softly.
And I inwardly kick myself because it’s about last night.
She lets me go and goes to grab a mug.
“I’m sorry about last night.”
She shrugs it off and says, “It’s fine.”
Oh boy. Some people might think that’s a female thing to do, to say something is fine when it isn’t. I think we all do it sometimes, but Rae is the master of it. Says it’s fine and hides behind some walls.
I walk up behind her and slide my hand around her waist, spinning her to face me. “It’s not fine. I was stuck in my own head and I was cold with you. Sometimes I need to figure things out for myself, okay?”
She pokes her finger into my stomach and smiles up at me. “Well, that’s dumb. Because we’re in this together, Ace. You. Me. Your abs,” she says playfully.
I tighten them up. “Like those, do you?”
She nods as she traces them with her finger. “Yep. You’re really in trouble because you’re gonna have to keep them forever now. I’m a fan of the washboard.” She gives me a wily smile that instantly turns me on and makes me want to have her right here in the kitchenette.
But then her eyes turn serious and she runs her hand over my face. “I love you no matter what, Ace. Inside, outside. I don’t care. If you need to work through things on your own, I get it. But I want you to know that I’m here. Okay?”
I slide my hand up into her hair. “I know. And I love you for it.” I press my lips against hers for a steamy kiss, then finally pour her some coffee, even though I have something much hotter than coffee on my mind.
She takes the mug and takes a long sip. She lets out a whimperymmm.And my dick gets harder. When she notices me watching her, she cocks an eyebrow. “You’re trouble.”
I step in front of her and bring my hands to her waist. “Yes, I am,” I growl in her ear.
She giggles as my breath tickles her ear. “That would be lots of fun.” Then she steps back and says, “Too bad we have classes to get ready for. Choppity chop, Ace, need to get some breakfast first.” She strides toward the door.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“I gotta get changed. I’ll see you in a bit.” She shoots me a wink and walks out the door, sipping coffee as she goes.
Mean. That’s just plain mean.
Rae
Whew, I am exhausted from classes today. I’m glad it’s Friday. We’re all done by three, but it always feels later than that by the time I get back to my dorm. We’re almost a month in and I’m feeling pretty well settled, but since I have both my counseling major and a business minor, I have plenty of classes to keep me busy. Today alone, I got paired up for a group project, had a test, and had a quiz. Oh, and I also heard about this incredible internship for a place called Promise Advocacy.
Promise works with women who have been a victim of sexual assault in any form. They have outreach programs at our college and local high schools, as well as having counseling at their facility and peer support programs. It sounds amazing. My heart whooshes with excitement at the idea of being a part of it all.
Every year they hire—that’s right, it’s apaidinternship—three students to replace the ones who graduated the previous year. Applications start in October, and if I get through two rounds of applications, questionnaires, and they like my references, I could get a face-to-face interview in January. I’m so freaking excited I could scream.
And nervous. Because, ya know, this isexactlywhat I want to do.
I went to meet with my advisor after class so she could give me some relevant paperwork for it and go over the application with me. She gave me some good advice and notes—most importantly, to be myself. When I finally make it back to my dorm, it’s getting close to dinner. I change quick and check my texts, a little surprised I don’t have anything from Aaron.
Sarah hollers that they’re leaving to grab dinner in a minute, so I text Aaron.
Me: Hey, heading to dinner with the girls. Want to meet us? Or want me to bring you something?
