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I flicker my eyes open as morning light streams through the window. I rub my hand over my face. Ugh. One drink too many last night. It was fun and I’m glad I didn’t get drunk, but I was definitely morerelaxedthan I intended to be. Especially around Aaron.
I can’t believe I asked him to lay with me last night.
No, actually, I practically begged him.
Then there was the moment when he thought I was completely asleep. He called meBeautifulagain. And it was almost haunting.
A ghost of what we used to be. Probably why he never says it.
I hate this place. We’ve been through so many iterations of us in the past year. Getting together, the honeymoon period, crazy in love, pushing each other away, falling apart, utterly broken, picking up the pieces, exes, trying to be friends, friends-ish, and now… what the hell are we doing? What are we trying to be? We’re awkward. We want each other. It reminds me of how we were when we first admitted our feelings to each other. We’re at the precipice of something, but we can’t seem to get where we’re going. And given what tomorrow is, it all feels even worse.
The rapping of knuckles on my window makes me jump and jolts me from my thoughts. Until Aaron climbs through my window.
My stomach flips with hope before crashing into waves of nausea and pain. I want us again. I want to be with him the way I should’ve been before. I’m trying to give him space, but the more the lines blur again, the stronger he seems, the harder it gets.
“Hi,” I say quietly. “Thanks for last night.”
He clears his throat and softly says, “You know I’d do anything for you.”
My breath catches. Those words hit deep within me.
“Ace…”
“I was thinking about tomorrow night,” he says softly. “I thought maybe we could spend it together.”
My eyes widen as my heart thunders with hope. “Together?”
He nods, looking down. “I know things are messy, but tomorrow is special. I don’t want to let it pass.” His hand slides over the top of mine. “What do you say?”
My chest seizes. Well, this is either gonna be amazing or crush me. But what choice do I have?
I nod slowly. “Yeah. Yes, let’s spend it together.”
“Okay. Good. Tomorrow night, six?”
“Sure.” I try to keep my voice even. I don’t want him to hear the excitement in it. I don’t know if I should be excited.
“Good.” He shakes his head. “I already said that. Okay, uh, I gotta go, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Beautiful.”
My heart skips beats and blood rushes through me. Heat floods my body and my stomach rustles, filling with butterflies.
“Yeah. Tomorrow, Ace.”
He smiles and squeezes my thigh. Then, he’s gone.
Holy shit. What does this mean?
He called meBeautifulagain. He wants to go out on our anniversary. Could he… actually be ready?
Fuck. No. I can’t get excited about this. It’s just a special day.
Our special day.
Ugh, excuse me, brain, you’re supposed to protect my heart, not back it up.
Clearly, it doesn’t matter. Every part of me has filled with hope that this could finally be it.
Freaking finally.
