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“Technically, it’s hot cocoa not a mocha, but yeah. You know me too well.”
“I do,” he says, emotion clogging his throat.
“Are we going to be okay?” I whisper.
He nods slowly. “We’ll figure it out. We always do.”
Those words don’t bring me the comfort I wish they would.
“Right,” I whisper before clearing my throat. “So, why did you stop by? This morning? Now?”
He shakes his head and shrugs. “I just… missed you.”
“Oh,” I say softly.
He glances at me, cracking his knuckles like he always does in uncomfortable moments.
“Maybe I should go.”
I look up at the twilight sky. It’ll be a little while before stars come out, but still.
Don’t do it. You’re gonna hate yourself if you do it.
“Ace…”
You’re a shit listener.
“Wanna stay and watch the stars with me?”
A range of emotions cross his face. He opens and closes his mouth a few times. Just when I think he’s about to leave, he nods and says, “Yeah, that sounds good.”
We lie back on the lounger, a line of space between us, and look up at the sky. No words are exchanged, but he reaches out and gently takes my hand. Only this time I don’t feel the electricity of our connection, I just feel pain.
I quickly glance over at him, then up at the sky blooming with stars, unable to shake the thought thatthis all feels wrong.
Aaron
Tonight hurt. There’s no other way to say it. When I first got there, a part of me wanted to yell, to fight it all out. But then I saw her. The broken, aching look in her eyes. And I knew that was the last thing she needed. As much as seeing her with Jesse hurt—knowing for sure they slept together—it was clear she needed me tonight. She needed hope. And maybe I did, too.
I drop onto my bed and flop backward, pulling my pillow to my head and groaning loudly.
I didn’t tell her the truth—that I want to figure out how to be us again—but I didn’t know how to say that with her hurting. And honestly, I didn’t know how to say it after finding out for sure that she slept with him.
I’ve been there. It was a bad decision and didn’t mean anything. I fully understand. What I don’t understand is why now? After all this time and fighting?
Maybe because she doesn’t know you want her.
What am I doing to myself?
She’s clearly hurting. Now is not the time to be going down this road. She needs support right now, not pressure.
Whatever you need to tell yourself.
I grumble again.
No. She needs space. To process. Heal. Figure out what she needs.
Or possibly, I’m an absolute chickenshit.
