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Definitely that.
Fuck.
Just when I think I’m getting a handle on things, it’s all fucked up again.
Katie’s words replay in my mind, and I know I’m going to have to fight for this.
But I don’t want to push her, either.
She waited for me for months. I can wait for her, right? Let her figure her stuff out. I’ll be right here waiting. And I’ll be there to support her, too.
Maybe this is how I fight, by believing in our relationship while she sorts herself out.
Or…
I’m just a chickenshit.
Chapter sixteen
Forever
Rae
Myfingersmovequicklyacross the keyboard of my phone as I text back and forth with Lyndsey.
Me: I’ll be around all night. Let me know if you need anything.
Lyndsey: Thanks. My best friend’s parents are really nice, so I’m hoping they’ll be supportive when I tell them.
Me: I think they will be. Like I said, text me if you need anything, and Michelle and Renee are always available as well.
Lyndsey: I will. Thank you! Have a good night.
Me: You too.
As I back out of my conversation with her, I see my list of conversations, my eyes instinctively finding Aaron’s name.
We’ve texted a couple of times and chatted at bonfires here and there, but I’ve been busy with work, not to mention trying to give myself room to heal and forgive myself.
At first, I thought the space was a good thing, something we both needed, but the longer it’s gone on, the more it’s started to feel like distance. And distance is the last thing I want.
Aaron said we’d figure it out, but no figuring has happened. And I miss him. Then I wonder if he’s hurting or still mad at me. He said he forgave me for what happened with Jesse, but it’s hard not to wonder if that’s why he hasn’t shown up with coffee or just wanted to hang out.
I hover over his name for a moment before turning my screen off and setting my phone down.
“Hey,” Sarah says, walking into the room.
“Hey.”
“Any idea about movies for tonight?” Sarah asks, sitting down next to me and leaning back against my headboard.
“Nothing comes to mind. How about we make Joel pick?” I say with a smile.
“Sounds like a good plan.” She pauses for a moment before saying, “You know, you could invite—”
The window opening stops Sarah midsentence, but I flare my eyes at her, knowing where she was going with that.Aaron. I could invite him. The idea makes my stomach flutter, and I reach for my phone. This is neutral. Joel is here too.
Then Joel climbs through the window, followed closely by Jesse, and I drop my phone back on my bed.
